Sometimes all you need is for someone to say: ‘I understand… I’ve been there and you are not alone’
A single mom shares how she has navigated motherhood and the need to create a support group just for mothers.
iStock
Motherhood is a beautiful yet challenging journey. Single Motherhood is even more challenging as one person carries what was meant to be a journey for two.
The day I became a mother, a single mom to be specific, I made every effort to join all mom groups possible in my area because I knew the challenges of the journey I was about to embark on, and I did not want to go through it alone. And so I attended every one of the groups I found on social media, I had a mom group for almost every day. I’m so glad I did that as it helped me feel like I’m not alone. To be surrounded by mothers who were going through a similar journey made me feel encouraged.
As much as it was helpful, I realised I was always that one single mom who could not relate fully with all the other moms. Most of them were married, stay-at-home moms living comfortable lives. And I was a single still-studying-and-looking-for-a-job mom. I felt a bit like I didn’t quite fit in. I then started looking specifically for single mom groups and found none. Absolutely none.
Since being under lockdown I have to be honest and say it has been a bit more challenging than usual. I have felt lonely, frustrated, discouraged, exhausted, overwhelmed to name a few emotions. Under normal circumstances, when I felt such emotions (which is often) I could easily call a friend to meet up, drop my daughter off with a friend and have some me time (which I have not had since the lockdown). I could go out with her to the park, beach or a restaurant. And it certainly helped me feel better. However, these are not normal circumstances. The best I can do during this time is to turn to God for strength.
I recently found myself searching for single mom support groups once again (I don’t give up) and I did find a few but all far from me. At this point, I told myself that I would take it upon myself to create a platform for single moms in my area to support each other through our journey. I know there are plenty of us in such situations. I’ve also realised that sometimes you don’t even need much, just for someone to say, “I understand, I know how you feel, I’ve been there and you are not alone.”
That in itself can be enough to push us to keep going. I decided to create a support group on Facebook and Instagram Dear Single Mama in hopes that other single mamas searching can find it and we can all support each other.
Andisiwe Ngaleka
I’m a teacher by profession, Jesus lover and coffee addict in my mid-twenties. Growing up I had this beautiful picture of how I’ve always envisioned my life to be. Life though, had other plans for me. 4 years ago I became a single mom to a beautiful daughter and my life changed forever. My greatest aspirations are to live fully in my God given purpose and make a difference while I’m in this world, and to live an authentic life embracing the vulnerabilities of my journey.
For more news your way, download The Citizen’s app for iOS and Android.