#TwoBits: A trip back in time through the Transkei

The very big upside of retirement is that you can up sticks and go wherever you want, not a care in the world. So we’ve just been on a jaunt to the Transkei and the Eastern Cape.

My family likes taking the road less travelled. So my brother’s party and us took a sha’p right after Flagstaff and headed up the Mzintlava Valley to Ntabankulu. The beauty of the Transkei is that it’s a long way from anywhere. From the Wild Coast, the more you venture into the interior, the wilder and more wonderful it gets.

The Mzintlava road is long, steep, rough and peppered with 301 bends, corners and curves. It achieves top 10 status in two categories as the 5th longest pass and the 7th biggest altitude gaining pass in South Africa.

But that didn’t begin to approach the next pass, which I’ll tell you about in a moment. After a few restful days at rustic Wavecrest with Klippies-and-Coke fishermen for company and later at Kenton-on-Sea, where the gin-and-tonic set lives, we headed home via Queenstown and the little dorpie of Lady Grey, where I last rested my head 49 years ago.

History lesson. Back in 1976, the Republic of Transkei was created to “prove” to the world that the SA government was serious about the policy of separate development. The fruit of apartheid, so to speak. The land around Lady Grey and backing right up to the Lesotho border was Transkei territory. The Nats said Transkei was now an independent country, the world didn’t buy that and the upshot was that Lesotho said this had blocked their people from entering SA legally.

Quite right, said the United Nations, which sent a delegation to Lesotho to see for themselves and tut-tut over it. Which caused me, then working for the SA Press Association, and a Daily News colleague, Dave Thomas, to jump in a car and head off to try to interview the UN people.

As we crossed through the Quthing border post (all open and busy as usual) we were arrested. At the police station we were questioned lengthily by a political commissar, accused of being spies and locked up.

After a while we were taken out to be photographed. The man with a Polaroid camera was a very nervous constable, terrified of the boogeymen we obviously were. Problem was, I’m very tall and Dave was very short. The constable had a great deal of trouble getting both our faces in the picture. It was hilarious. We eventually helped him out by dragging up a bench and sitting together.

Then it was lunchtime and the only place in town was the local hotel, where the UN delegation was lunching. Our hosts weren’t inhuman, they marched us into the dining room but we had to sit at the far end, with our constable on guard in case we tried to speak to the UN people.

We ordered and the constable was drooling as we tucked into a steak. We took pity and told him, “Order whatever you like, it’s on us.” Well, if eating was an Olympic sport, this guy could have eaten for Lesotho! He guzzled everything on the menu, from soup to dessert. It was probably the best day of his life!

After that the UN people buggered off back to Maseru and the cops took us to the border, kicked us out and said “Never come back!” We pulled into Lady Grey for a few beers and to write our stories. Which were published around the world, would you know! Must have been a slow news day. Another footnote in that absurd story of Transkei “independence”.

But I digress. On the way home last week, after the night at a very comfy B&B in Lady Grey, we drove via the tinier village of Rhodes over Naude’s Nek, which at 2 596 metres is the 4th highest road pass in SA! The road was, well, shall I say I was glad we were in a Toyota. It’s a 4×4 “road”, 10km/h in places, took seven hours to drive 200km. But all made up for by the awesome scenery.

After a great fortnight’s holiday through the prettiest parts of the country, we arrived back in Ballito to find that the ruddy traffic lights are still broken! That brought us back to reality with a bump.

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