The age of slick A-list star action movies – but ultimately mediocre film fare – is here for good.

Netflix’s most watched original film ever, Red Notice, does everything an action comedy should, but truly spells the end of quality mid-cost independent films.

With a budget of $200-million and featuring Ryan Reynolds, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Gal Gadot, there was never any doubt that Red Notice was going to be a hit – and that’s the issue.

Two billion Rand has not been spent so poorly since South African taxpayers funded the Gupta pension scheme.

Spoilers to follow

The film opens in Rome with an apparent art theft, one of Cleopatra’s Fabergé-like eggs has been stolen.

Johnson plays FBI profiler and art expert, John Hartley, the first sign you need a reality check at the door.

He chases down the egg’s suspected thief, Nolan Booth (Reynolds), known for many high-profile art heists.

Hartley, along with Interpol agent Urvashi Das, track Booth to a hideaway in Bali where they recover the egg.

Or do they?

It is the first of the film’s many twists, designed to keep viewers on the edge of their couches.

Hartley is blamed and sent to a Russian jail with Booth – hijinks ensue!

Considering how easy it is to break out of a Russian prison in the film, you could be forgiven for thinking that gulags are little more than leisure camps.

Nevertheless, the dynamic duo is forced into an unlikely partnership, with Booth trying to steal the remaining 2 eggs and Hartley trying to clear his name.

The search takes them to Spain and then to the Argentinian jungle, where a hoard of stolen Nazi memorabilia is allegedly stored.

This global treasure hunt is predictably punctuated by Reynold’s trademark sarcasm, which becomes increasingly tiring, and huge gunfights in which not a single person is hit.

Joined by another art thief, ‘The Bishop’ (Gadot), the duo become an uneasy triumvirate by the end of the film.Never

before has there been such a brazen set-up to a potential sequel. It is achingly clear that the Netflix execs knew they had created a hit series.

None of this is inherently wrong, blockbuster sequels have been the fashion since Jaws, and there are far worse films to watch then Red Notice.

What is irksome is that the mediocre end product is not just bad execution, but wholly intentional.

Every plot point, joke, meta-reference and wink to the audience has been focus-grouped and test-screened to death.

It tries to appeal to children, teenagers, moms on Facebook and anyone else targeted by the Netflix algorithm, but ends up appealing to no one at all.

Make no mistake, Red Notice will make a return on investment, and so will its inevitable sequels, but at what cost?

It’s a series of droll but empty scenes, packaged nicely behind good visuals, designed to be watched on the smallest screen possible.

If you put it on in the background, you might even enjoy it – but if that is what constitutes an original film in 2021, then perhaps it’s best to dust off some older DVDs.

PG13, scenes of mild violence and some strong language.

1/5.

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