Seeing that this is the year of come backs we have decided to resurrect a couple of old people who will help to boost tourism in our town. Many talk about Dundee/Glencoe/Dannhauser etc as being ghost towns so why not?
We are going to turn Dundee into the new Las Vegas – but even more bizarre, garish and awful than the real thing.
The whole will be ran by a Doctor from outer African who cures things like those horrible lawyers letters you keep receiving, your shrinking reproductive ability and the habit your evil work colleagues have of putting sugar in your tea when they know you are diabetic.
Anyway, after attending a few training sessions in Nquthu this Doctor Alban from Alabania (told you it was in Africa) has managed to resurrect, among others, Elvis, Marilyn, Amy Winehouse, Naas Botha (what you mean he is still around?), Michael Jackson and your neighbour.
Elvis is going to run a fish and chip shop and sell milk shakes, shoes (blue, or course) down in the ghetto. If this sounds suspicious, you ain’t seen nuthin’.
Marilyn is going to become a hairdresser – you know the one who knows everything before it happens.
Amy Winehouse is going to hang out at the Golf Club and watch the cars. Naas Botha has been hired by Dave and Steven to ensure that their rugby team at Sarel continues to beat everyone – including the Bulls.
Michael Jackson? Bit of a problem child – but we have decided to take his zombie shell, send it to a taxidermist, get Pam to vacuum him down and erect him on the traffic circle just above that horrendous billboard that says something about Sugar Daddies.
Your neighbour? Hmm, we are gonna send him to the Curry Parlour where he can be on the look out for three-wheeled Toyota Yaris’s – how do you spell the plural?
But what about boxing – I mean if you lot are serious about knocking out Sol and Sun City you are going to have some prize fighting going on too – and I mean serious heavyweights….
Well, after much thought, the Good Doctor has decided to go the easy route by resurrecting the old El Mpati Hotel and encouraging all those old fighters to come out of retirement and go a few rounds after a few more brandies.