* The letter in the Gazette about the fight between women was a sad indictment on the fairer sex. I was the MC during that function and was having lunch when the incident took place. My enquiries have confirmed that a physical tussle was blown out of proportion by the writer, who claimed that the women rolled about and fought over a man. That is not true. Be that as it may, the incident left a bitter taste in the mouths of all those who attended the awards function and it is my fervent hope that the two parties resolve their differences in a more dignified way.
* Your horoscope can give you great insight into your sexual prowess. Find out if you’re a star or a ‘disastar’ in the bedroom. SCORPIO: The Bedroom Freak – This love ’em and leave ’em leg-humper is the horn-dog of the zodiacs. Their magnetism and sexual skills are irresistible.
Are you hot for Scorpio? Everyone eventually falls for Scorpio. Be sexy and open to role-playing and adventurous sex. They are notoriously jealous, so be ready to commit. SAGITTARIUS: The Don Juan or Juanita – This happy-go-lucky zodiac is incredibly broad-minded about sex. They love having multiple partners and are drawn to foreign accents. Are you hot for Sagittarius? Watch ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ because there will be orgies and swinging parties. And start working on your fake foreign accent. AQUARIUS: The Toy Collector – They are not shy about their fetishes and quirky bedroom tendencies, and are almost sure to have a box under the bed filled with every sex toy imaginable. Are you hot for Aquarius? Don’t hold back and be willing to let your freak-flag fly wild, because Aquarius expects you to play with their box of toys. PISCES: The Slippery Fish – This water sign loves being nurtured and will reward your efforts. They’re emotional and relish the connectivity of sex above the act itself.
Are you hot for Pisces? Be careful how you cast your net to snare this confused slippery fish. They don’t really know what they want and will swim away as quickly as you caught them. ARIES: The Fire-starter – Sex is a competitive sport for Aries and they start fights for make-up sex. They will take you to the moon and back during sex, even if it’s a very short trip. Are you hot for Aries? They’re ruled by their heads, so lure them into bed with earlobe nibbles and skull massages, or pick a fight with them. TAURUS: The Sex Addict – This aggressive bedroom aficionado is an outstanding kisser. They use all five senses and are all about the pleasure principle, including long, mind-blowing foreplay. Are you hot for Taurus? Prepare a meal layered with textures, flavours and aromas, and you’ll be rewarded with the best sex of your life. GEMINI: The Sexy Chatterbox – If dirty talking or phone sex gets your engine humming, then Gemini is the person for you. Are you hot for Gemini? Then you better enjoy loud sex in strange places, with a high risk of getting caught. But Gemini gets bored easily, so you need to keep them guessing. CANCER: The Sensual Cry Baby – Prepare yourself for an intensely sensual ride, some post-coital crying and wedding proposals. Cancer appears tough on the outside, but once you get a taste, you’ll know why it’s so deliciously addictive. Are you hot for Cancer? Then you must take the lead. Cancer loves to be dominated and will go along with anything you suggest, the kinkier the better. LEO: The Wild Narcissist – If it’s from behind and there are mirrors on the walls and ceiling, they’re in their element. They are loud and the neighbours will hear. Are you hot for Leo? Then remember that their backs are their weak spot. VIRGO: The Considerate Crook – Known as “The Virgin” in the zodiac, but they’re skilled lovers who are all about their partner’s sexual pleasure. But be warned, Virgo will steal your heart. Are you hot for Virgo? Get ready to be handcuffed to the bed and taken to new heights. LIBRA: The Unselfish Lover – Known as “The Scales” in the zodiac, the Libra lover is all about meticulous balancing acts.
They’re great at sex that’s measured, so both partners get equal enjoyment. Are you hot for Libra? Then you need to be sexually adventurous and prepared to have sex in a restaurant bathroom, or to have oral sex under the table. CAPRICORN: The Forgettable Fling – You won’t remember anything Capricorn does to you sexually, because they’re the most boring lovers in the world. Are you hot for Capricorn? Then expect to do all the work in bed. Capricorns have all the sexual adventure and energy of a slug, so if quickies turn you on, then marry a Capricorn and call it a day.
