It is no fun being a bodyguard in spite of the view

It must be really terrible to be a bodyguard – except of course if you are Kevin Costner. 
The heavies at the World Cup final had the miserable job of making a line of suits to ensure adoring fans did not lay their paws on Lionel Messi, Thomas Meuller and co.
Then another one, in a previous game, tried to prevent Dutch striker, Robin van Persie, from crossing the barrier to present his captain’s armband to Holland’s number one fan following the Dutch team’s 3-0 hammering of Brazil.
Some bodyguards, or ‘securities’ (to use the local parlance) even have to have their backs turned on the action on the pitch to ensure errant fans do not do anything naughty like bite the guy standing next to them.
No, do not encourage your children to become bodyguards. It will only make them very unpopular. Locally, bodyguarding is a serious business.
It comes standard when you are a Mayor. Deputy Mayors, Speakers, Councillors and even Municipal Managers also have heavies around them.
There are distinctive with their red ties and bad attitudes towards journalists.
Sometimes a bodyguard is sent into a venue prior to the Big Man’s arrival. Once, in the Courier office, a particularly large guard spent a great deal of time staring at the automatic air freshener device before allowing his Mayor through the door.
Luckily there are no ATMs in the vicinity.
Guards like to think that they are also Mayors, and kind-of important. They have been known to take over the Wimpy and play loud music on their phones while their boss – the Mayor (not necessarily the Endumeni model) – holds a meeting with another fellow.
How the Mayor hears anything over the throbbing din coming from his guards’ phones is still a great mystery.
Then again, if you are the Mayor, and almost 70% of the people voting chose your party, why would you need a guard? I mean, you should be Mr Popular? Unlike the old Apartheid days when the Mayors apparently only represented 15% of the communities. Strangely, those okes never had bodyguards and always drove their own cars.
Just goes to show: being voted in by a large majority is just as dangerous as tackling Luis Suarez.