Being at war with yourself is never an easy battle, especially when no-one understands what you are going through. Many people don’t understand the core of depression.
They don’t understand the internal war that a depressed individual has to fight day in and day out, not knowing when it will all end.
Not being able to explain to your loved ones why you are constantly on a high because you don’t want to drag them to the visitor called “depression”, which comes at any time, uninvited and messes up your life.
This visitor awaits your weak moments and sets up camp in your brain without you even realising it.
When you drop your guard, depression floods itself right in and anxiety follows.
Anxiety is a vagabond, she is also going to knock and let herself in and at that moment the world is going to seem like a cruel place.
Mental illness knows no colour, no race, no gender, no tax bracket and definitely no ethnic group.
The saddest part about depression is that in black communities, parents don’t recognise it as an illness.
They always assume, that when a person acts out of character, they are just seeking attention. Phrases such as “you need Jesus” or “it’s just a phase she will get over it”, are what most black parents use when it comes to depression.
They first assume that you are acting out or isolating yourself from the world because you think you are better than others or because you don’t know what to do with yourself nor your time.
Which is never the case, only when one attempts suicide, do they then realise that you are indeed struggling mentally.
The most unexplainable thing is that one may seem okay on the outside, bubbly and always energetic, but battling suicidal thoughts on the inside.
A person with depression doesn’t ever see it ending. The unhappiness, the fatigue and body aches, the negative thoughts, insomnia and oversleeping, the loss of interest in life itself and the over-eating or eating less.
The hardest part is not being able to speak to anyone about your thoughts and feelings because one fears being judged and being talked about as a “special case”.
Not having people you trust enough to let in and break your high walls of isolation is the hardest thing for depressed individuals.
Depression is a silent killer. Always make sure that you check in on your friend that appears to be strong, no matter how strong they may portray themselves to be, because you may be the only glimpse of light in helping them pull through. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you are depressed, we all need a shoulder to lean on at some point in our lives.
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group’s tollfree number that operates 24hrs a day is 0800 747 747. Feel free to call them whenever you need someone to talk too.
Do not suffer in silence, your warzone is hardship and it will lead you to your victory. Keep soldiering on and never give up on yourself… you owe yourself that much.
