How to stress less during pregnancy: Coping techniques to try

Feeling stressed and anxious during pregnancy is common and normal but when stress spirals out of control it can be harmful to your unborn baby. Follow these easy tips to help reduce your stress levels and stay calm when you’re expecting.

We chat with Life Coach, Judy Klipin, on stress and pregnancy.

How stress impacts your unborn baby

A brain-scanning study has revealed that infants’ brains may be shaped by levels of stress their mothers experience during pregnancy. According to the study, stress levels in mothers – measured by a hormone linked to anxiety and other health problems – is related to changes in areas of the infant brain associated with emotional development. Scientists measured the levels of the hormone cortisol (which is involved in the body’s response to stress) to study links with baby brain development.

Researchers from the University of Edinburgh found that higher levels of cortisol in the mother’s hair were linked to structural changes in the infants’ amygdala, an area of the brain known to be involved in emotional and social development in childhood, as well as differences in brain connections. Lead researcher, Professor James Boardman, Director of the Jennifer Brown Research Laboratory at the MRC Centre for Reproductive Health at the University of Edinburgh, said: “Our findings are a call to action to detect and support pregnant women who need extra help during pregnancy as this could be an effective way of promoting healthy brain development in their babies.”

Stress is unavoidable for many expectant moms. Most experience challenges like holding down a job while heavily pregnant, juggling home and work expectations, or taking care of other children. Being pregnant during a pandemic also comes with its own unique challenges and concerns. But, it’s important to remember that whatever you have to deal with, your baby has to deal with too.

Look after yourself

Judy says one of the biggest problems pregnant and current moms face is the feeling that they’ve ‘disappeared’. “Women need to be mindful about how they’re going to look after and make time for themselves; whether it’s a massage, journaling, or even going for a counselling session,” she advises.

Set healthy boundaries

“Have healthy boundaries while learning how to let the good stuff in,” says Judy. Depending on the situation you find yourself in, either physical or emotional boundaries may apply. If you find yourself sitting in a room being regaled by horror birth stories you might choose to excuse yourself from the conversation. “Many women have a hard time standing up for themselves, but you’re perfectly within your rights to say: ‘I feel that it’s not good for me, or my baby, to be part of this conversation.’ You might also choose to remain in the room should you be able to block out the negativity. You can simply nod and smile, without actually taking anything in. Don’t take on other people’s stuff. If your friend hated breastfeeding it doesn’t mean you will. So, don’t pre-empt the experience.”

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

“The sooner moms learn to do this, the better,” says Judy. “For some reason, we want to prove to others how perfect we are, or we don’t want to inconvenience anyone.” She continues by explaining that working moms, especially, try to do everything themselves. Your emotions can be overwhelming as hormones wreak havoc in your body, so make sure to have some alone time and time to bond with your partner.

Learn to say “no”

Whether you’re in your first trimester and feeling nauseous, or in the third and just feeling exhausted, don’t be afraid to say no to social invitations or a request to look after a friend’s kid for the afternoon. “You can be nice about it, but sometimes we’re just far too polite – at our own expense,” says Judy. “You don’t need to give anyone an explanation. It’s no one’s business if you just feel like wearing pyjamas all day and watching TV.”

Look on the bright side

There’s no point being upset about things that are impermanent: “Try to focus on how great your breasts and skin are looking rather than the bit of weight you might have picked up on your bum. Once you have the baby, you’ll likely lose it anyway,” says Judy.

Stop wanting things to be perfect

“Compare and despair,” says Judy. “The truth is, your baby could sleep in a shoebox for the first month and wouldn’t know the difference. If you don’t have everything ready in his room, don’t be hard on yourself. “This need to be perfect will also put your partner under pressure. So, instead of comparing yourself to your friend, acknowledge that everyone’s situation is different and find your own way to make things work.”

Stay calm and just breathe

There are many breathing techniques you can use to calm your nerves whenever you feel overwhelmed. This easy-to-follow breathing technique focuses on inhalation, retention, and exhalation.

Sit in a comfortable position, relax your shoulders, and focus on your breathing:

• Breathe in slowly for four counts.
• Retain the breath for two counts.
• Breathe out slowly for four counts.
• If you’re feeling comfortable, slowly increase the length of inhalation and exhalation up to six or seven counts, but always keep the retention at two counts.