Confessions of a single mamma: Frenemy

MANOEUVRING through the ups and downs of single parenting can be a voyage of exploration of all sorts of emotions for both the child and the parent.

I can quickly turn from their friend to enemy when I have to be put on my disciplinarian cap and toss away my loving mom one whenever their behaviour warrants it.

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No matter the time or place, or how I am feeling, I have to muster up the energy and deliver on my duty to be a mom. I try to create a balance where there is enough leeway for them to just be little boys, but where the boundary line is crystal clear.

Working as a journalist in close-knit communities has allowed me to be a part of many different experiences. While some heart-warming experiences made for good stories to tell my children every night, I never held back with the details of the gruesome, horror stories I write. Some may argue that the details may have been too much for little children to hear, but I watered down only the parts that were sexually graphic and explained it them in a way that they would understand.

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I believe that knowledge is power and I wanted them to know what the world is like, what their community is like, and what types of people we live among, even though they were only three and six-years old when I began working as a journalist.

Whenever I find their behaviour moving towards what is not acceptable, I coax them into thinking about it and refer them to some story I wrote where behaviour left to go out of hand led to crime, and the consequences it would have if they were an adult, for them to be more mindful.

I also know that if you spare the rod, you will spoil the child, therefore I have become public enemy number one, as many eyes and ears were not too happy about my choice of chastisement. Add to the mix a couple of spanked and sad little boys and a sore-hearted mom ridden with guilt about if she had done the right thing.

ALSO READ: Confessions of a single mamma

I always remind them that I love them, but some things are unacceptable. Five seconds later, I am thanked for putting them in their place. Then, I know that they have learned. Each day is filled with lessons for the three of us and at when we’re in bed each night, I ask, what did you learn today that excited you, and the answers amaze me.

I am glad that they learned that I will be their caregiver, friend, enemy, protector, disciplinarian and teacher for as long as I live, and they also know that I don’t mind being the enemy when I need to be.

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