The Citizen asked Chester Missing to make sense of some of the world’s most pressing questions.
He’s cheeky, he’s funny, he’s a heartbreaker and a ball-breaker. Chester Missing is a South African legend and so too is his boss Conrad Koch. Both will deny manipulation in either direction, always, but one is a puppet. Remember that. And the pair, along with some friends, are on tour with a brand new serving of satire, funnies and super-silly.
The new show is called Puppet Power.
Koch, via his brood of puppet cast, takes on the craziness of modern life where global crises are reduced to TikTok clips and shares, likes and whatever. Front and centre is Missing who, said Koch, was tired of being zipped up in a suitcase because, right now, humanity isn’t.
“We’re all puppets – in politics, work, even relationships,” Koch said. No topic is off-limits. Koch weaves in everything from Elon Musk’s latest antics to FlySafair’s life jackets and South Africa’s beloved “robots”.
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No holy cows in Chester Missing’s show
Missing is the mouthpiece of a show that’s not just hilarious but chases the bottom line like an accountant would a spreadsheet. The Citizen asked the puppet to make sense of some of the world’s most pressing questions.
If you could send a message to world leaders the likes of the US, UK, Russia, Israel, Iran, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Ukraine – what would it be?
Everyone from Donald Trump to Cyril Ramaphosa to John Steenhuisen has a hand in their booboo controlling them. They are all puppets! They must start doing what is in the interests of their people, not of the billionaire hand in their booboo.
How do you deal with the office suck-up who won’t leave you alone?
Leave the office vacuum cleaner by their desk with their name on it. Do it every day until they stop sucking.
What if picking a job or boss worked like swiping on Tinder?
My boss sticks his hand inside of me, so TBH, this is not that different from Tinder.
Is marriage outdated, and are traditional gender roles really gone – or just hiding at the braai?
I am a puppet who lives in a suitcase. I can’t get married, but I was dating a Barbie doll for a short while. All I know is if you get married, you will also have to get used to having someone put words in your mouth.
Conspiracy theorist David Icke says reptilians run the world. Thoughts?
I think David Icke must stop being so rude about Helen Zille. She’s just very abrasive, not an actual reptile. There’s a small but important difference.
Describe your perfect puppet first date.
Miss Piggy, but she is way out of my league.
What annoys puppets most about humans?
That you haven’t all realised that you are also puppets. You think social media influencers actually like the crap they try sell? Pffft. Ridiculous!
Why should people come see the show?
Because it’s hilarious and fun, and utterly silly. And it includes me, Chester Missing, and I am amazing. We also have an actual DJ puppet who actually DJs. Besides, if you are going to be ruled by puppets, you might as well also laugh at them.
Audiences can also expect fan favourites in the show like Hilton, the party-loving ostrich, DJ Hoodie, the puppet who actually DJs, and Mr Dixon, the over-it high school teacher. New recruits include Gordon Ratsy, a celebrity chef who happens to be a rat, and a talking dinosaur brought to life by an unsuspecting audience member.
After its run at Montecasino’s Pieter Toerien Theatre from 10-13 July, the tour heads across the country, with stops from Cape Town through to Gqeberha.
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