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Weight put on children is too heavy
The best parenting tweets of 2020 so far
And it's ONLY February, parents!
Raising children can be the most rewarding experience ever. It can also be the most hilarious. It is advisable to take a step back now and again and reflect on how hilarious some parenting moments are.
Here are a couple of tweets that remind us to laugh at ourselves a little bit more.
My kids are both mad at me for different reasons but at the same time and they almost never agree on anything so while not ideal, seeing them unite against me is giving me the warm and fuzzies.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 4, 2020
Your child will reject the first 3 bananas on the grounds they are too bruised but on receipt of the 4th and perfect banana they will announce they don’t like bananas anymore
– The Law of Bananas
(category: child)— MumInBits (@MumInBits) January 27, 2020
Friend: so what’s it like parenting a toddler?
Me: why?
Friend: just curious.
Me: why?
Friend: I don’t know nevermind.
Me: why?
Friend:
Me: why?
Friend: hey fuck you man.
Me: yes that’s it exactly.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) January 30, 2020
Let’s play a game of “Why Did Part Of My Child’s Lunch Come Back Home Uneaten Today?” Choose one:
A. “I didn’t have time to finish”
B. “I didn’t notice that was in there”
C. “It got soggy/brown/warm/cold”
D. “I don’t like [insert food] anymore even though I loved it 2 days ago"— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 28, 2020
Me: Please put on your shoes
Toddler: *does nothing*
*repeat 27 times*
Me: FOR THE LAST TIME JUST PUT ON YOUR SHOES THIS ISN’T HARD DAMMIT JUST DO ITTTTT!!!!!!
Toddler: *cries*
Me: *hugs him and puts his shoes on for him*
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) January 27, 2020
My favorite yoga position involves my couch, Doritos and sleeping children.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 6, 2020
For all the new moms
I haven't slept in 4 months and my house is covered in a thin layer of spit up, but I get to count the baby as a dependent on my taxes this year, so
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) February 6, 2020
Me: did you take my phone?
3yo: no dad.
Me: are you lying?
3yo: no dad!
My phone: pic.twitter.com/hvZbTjzlP3
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) January 19, 2020
Today I picked 6 year old up from school. She ran over with one of her friends.
6: Daddy! Daddy! I told my friend you’re really funny! Do something funny!
Me: pic.twitter.com/tqo45p39ga
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) February 6, 2020
What’s it called when you spend 20 minutes trying to get your kids to agree on a tv show then when they’re finally all happy you sneak into the bathroom and within 18 seconds they come in and watch you pee instead
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) February 6, 2020
You know your kids watch too much TV when you're reading them a book and they ask you to press pause so they can go pee.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 6, 2020
3yo: daddy are you mad?
Me: of course not.
3yo: I love you.
Me: awww I love you- wait you better not have locked the bathroom door again.
3yo: I locked the bathroom door again.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) February 6, 2020
Nothing ruins a toddler’s day quite like being told it’s not their birthday when it’s not their birthday.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 5, 2020
My kids are both mad at me for different reasons but at the same time and they almost never agree on anything so while not ideal, seeing them unite against me is giving me the warm and fuzzies.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 4, 2020
If you enjoy fighting with someone at 7 AM about brushing their teeth I can't recommend parenting highly enough.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 29, 2020
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