Romance scams – what to look out for

DebtSafe, a regulated company with registered debt counsellors, said in a statement that with social activities mainly being replaced by an increase in Internet engagements, many will want to try fill the void by connecting with people online.

DebtSafe’s marketing manager, Carla Oberholzer, said in the statement that according to the Overseas Security Advisory Council’s country security report, “deceitful love scams and undertakings are evident”.

“Previously the Financial Intelligence Centre also revealed a case of an online dating scammer’s modus operandi, that had tricked men and women out of R13 000 000 within seven-plus years,” said Oberholzer.

“The horror of ‘romance fraud’ has left innocent individuals paying a hefty price for love. So, guard your heart, protect your finances and stay alert to not fall prey to ‘fake love’ opportunists,” she said.

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Oberholzer added that “romance fraud is also referred to as ‘catfishing’, a ‘romancing scheme’, or a ‘relationship scam’.

“It is when you get blindsided by someone or a group of cyber crime fraudsters and unknowingly engage in a bogus-created romantic relationship. You get so emotionally manipulated that you are convinced sending your new love interest money is an appropriate show of love, commitment, support and kindness.

“But, in the end, you, unfortunately, only end up with a broken heart, no money and excessive debt. So, when it comes to your well-being and hard-earned money, prevention is better than cure,” she said.

Oberholzer created a list of questions to ask oneself before getting involved in an online relationship:

1. What is your reason for using a specific online platform? This question may sound silly, but you need to stick to your goal (finding love/connection) and not get distracted by someone else’s selfish intentions.

2. Is your privacy, including your location details, protected or being shared publicly for everyone to see? With the recent WhatsApp vs. Telegram saga, you need to make sure that you are happy with your privacy settings and the platform’s policy regarding your personal information and activities being open to the public or not).

3. What is the extent of the information you share about yourself while talking to/messaging your new love interest? You should not share details of your financial position or too much personal information with anyone (even with a new ‘familiar stranger’).

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4. Have you verified everything about the information that you have been ‘fed’ about this person? Trust needs to be earned. You cannot believe everything that you see, or that is shared with you.

5. If you meet or have met someone online, is there enough information about the person available on his/her profile (a photo, hobbies, et cetera)? Strangers whose profiles have little information available should be treated with the utmost suspicion.

6. What is the profession of the person showing interest? Experts say that most common scams involve individuals that need to travel a lot. For example, a military officer or a truck driver.

7. Is there anything in your requests or communication that they do not want to do and that makes you concerned? Without even noticing, you can be “catfished”. It should raise concerns when your new interest does not want to do a video call with you, talk to you over the phone, cannot send a selfie in the moment, or it seems that they are only connecting with you and not others in real life.

8. Has the person formed a familiar pattern by contacting (or harassing) you about their sudden difficult circumstances? Online scammers disclose a certain pattern in their behavior. One of which is to play on your emotions. You can be sure that it almost always involves the partner experiencing a personal dilemma of some sort and that they need your money to help them out. Offering financial assistance to someone that you do not know very well should not be entertained.

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9. Are you picking up/have you noticed that the communication and conversations are inconsistent? Remember: you may be talking to more than one individual. In various cases, they work in a group for a syndicate.

10. Have you informed your close family and friends of your new online love? You have to be in close communicate with your immediate support group, especially if you think that you may be taken for a ride.

11. Step aside from your excitement and butterflies for a bit. Do you think you are being scammed? Trust your gut. If you can confirm “yes”, immediately stop all communications and rather walk away.

12. If you have, unfortunately, already been a victim of this typical love-related scam and lost money in the process, did you report it to the authorities, and have you received help to fix your financial/debt situation yet? Being a victim of online love fraud is a bitter pill to swallow, but you can help prevent others from falling into the same pit. Let your voice be heard and create awareness to avoid similar cases in the future.

Regarding your financial situation, if you are stuck with severe debt due to being scammed, make sure that you contact your bank, a certified financial planner, or a registered debt counsellor to help you fix your debt for good.

To learn more about DebtSafe, contact them on 0861-100-999, email info@debtsafe.co.za or SMS your name and surname to 30898 (free of charge). You can also find them via their website www.debtsafe.co.za and DebtSafe on Facebook.

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