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By Marizka Coetzer


Adoption process: Same sex couple gets all they wished for and more

Same sex couple in South Africa said they 'were pushed from pillar to post for a few years' during adoption process.

A same-sex couple from Johannesburg is preparing their first Christmas as a family after adopting a baby boy this year.

When Candice and Pauline (surnames withheld to protect the child) married more than three years ago, they decided they wanted a baby.

Before the adoption, the fertility journey

“We started discussing having a child. The idea became more and more real as we [made] plans to try fertility treatment again.

“We looked at various options, artificial insemination, and in vitro fertilisation [IV] and weighed up the costs.

“After many consultations with various specialists, we decided to go the IV route, which was extremely costly, but our chances of conceiving would be higher,” Pauline said.

Pauline said they both started fertility treatments on their honeymoon and underwent various procedures to get pregnant.

ALSO READ: Social development department biased against adoptions, says judge

“The wait for the positive pregnancy test felt like a lifetime. Then we got the call to advise that the IV was not successful.

“This was a huge knock to both of us and mentally and emotionally broke us. We felt like failures and did not know where to turn to have a child of our own.

“After many tears and months of discussions, we decided we did not want to go with any more fertility treatments and we wanted to adopt,” she said.


The couple met a social worker, filled in one questionnaire after the other and got letters from friends, family and employers.

“We needed to supply every grain of ourselves, our past, present and future, to see if we would be fit as adoptive parents.

“We had to go for counselling where discussions were held on how to tell the child they are adopted at the right age. It was hard work.

“We had to get police clearance and letters from the department of social development to state we are not registered, sex offenders.

“The forms and information were nonstop and overwhelming.”

The couple said the process felt like it took a lifetime to complete.

“We were pushed from pillar to post for a few years but eventually landed up with the best social worker and were matched with our angel in a month,” she said.

Candice said they couldn’t wait to celebrate Christmas with their baby.

“We are the proudest parents on the planet because we have what we have always wished for, a little one of our own. And he is amazing, he is all we could have ever wished for and more.”

Bethany House founder Gert Jonker said giving a child a new family is most rewarding.

“In our nation, we have hundreds of thousands of orphans. Each one of them deserves a family.”