Lessons in the death of DMX

I generally am not one to mourn the deaths of celebrities, not because I lack empathy but because I find death to be a personal circumstance and feel the same should apply to the mourning.

But one celebrity death touched me – that of rapper DMX.

Growing up, I was crazy about his music and loved how he fused hardcore street hip-hop with gospel in a reflection of everyday life.

He emphasised that we are all tainted, but in our own way are seeking redemption from whatever power we answer to. This was the DMX we came to know and love.

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Why grieve a man who overdosed, a man who had spent the greater part of his life on the edge of conflict with authority, who was for many years incarcerated? The answer is simple. He was a man who was conflicted as a result of his childhood trauma.

He had a mother who herself could not shake her own addictive challenges, he faced repeated abandonment and was introduced to drugs by his rap mentor as a pre-teen.

Having found fame and success, blinded by the stage lights, his destructive behaviour resulted in the breakdown of his own family. This was a man who could not break the bonds of his childhood trauma and, ultimately, it resulted in him taking his life!

The protection of youth and the preservation of innocence is so important because those formative years define who we become.

As parents, we are required to contribute positively to the lives of the children we bring into this world. Not only our own, but every child we encounter. An obligation as adults rests with us that we not only be present, but we also be healthy in mind and spirit – that we be a positive influence on our children.

Earl Simmons, to give DMX his birth name, was never raised by a fully functional father or mother.

And as we move on to the months of May and June, in celebration of Mother’s and Father’s Day, may this death remind us as parents to be positive influences in the lives of our children.

We cannot celebrate our right to parenthood without taking responsibility for our obligations to the children we must protect.