The day unpaid traffic fines came knocking

It started off like any other normal day.

I was cruising down a busy road, window down, music up, pretending I had my life together – when, suddenly, I saw them ahead of me: blue lights on both sides of the road.

Lots of blue lights. It meant only one thing. A roadblock.

I was surprised when I was pulled over to the side of the road and I rolled down the window with the confidence of someone who once paid a parking ticket on time back in 2016.

“Good afternoon,” he said.

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“May I see your driving licence, please?”

He raised an eyebrow while checking the licence disc on my car’s windscreen and walked back to a trailer mumbling that he was going to run my details.

He returned with a printout that looked like a CV.

“Did you know you have seven outstanding traffic fines?” he said authoritatively.

Seven? Seven! I felt nauseous.

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Apparently, Big Brother doesn’t sleep. Ever.

And he is real, judging from the list the grim officer held in his hand.

“Is this your correct address?” he asked, tapping the paper while shoving it under my nose.

I nodded slowly, but before I could say anything about the postal service that has collapsed, or the fact that I am technologically disadvantaged, he sighed.

“I could impound your car today. Are you aware of that?” I gasped.

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“But officer, this car is practically held together by hope and cable ties. If you impound it, it might never emotionally recover,” I joked nervously, hoping he had a sense of humour while I tried gathering my composure.

He laughed. I think. It could’ve been a cough. Regardless, he handed me a sternly highlighted printout and said, “Sort it out. Soon.” I could hear the “or else” in his voice.

I promised I would, taking the printout with a shaking hand. I even made a calendar reminder while he watched.

Then I drove off – very slowly – wondering if adulthood is just a long game of unpaid invoices and avoiding eye contact with government agencies.

I know that I have myself to blame for not knowing about these fines but being oblivious to a lot of things is such a wonderful feeling. I need to be more “with it”.

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I need to pay my fines. Because one day, when I least expect it, the past comes knocking … and it’s definitely wearing a badge.