Ilembe guinea pig for right-hand drive

It’s official – we will be switching to right hand drive this weekend.

The Ilembe District is being given the honour of being the guinea pig for the whole country in moving away from what many see as yet another colonial legacy.

The left-hand drive (or ride) system started way back in the times of the Roman Empire, because when driving your chariot along the Appian Way you happened to be attacked by another charioteer coming the other way, you could reach for your sword with your stronger right hand and fight them off.

The Romans spread the practice across Europe and Britain, but the French switched to driving on the right because they hated the English and didn’t like to do what the English did on principle.

Napoleon spread the practice across Europe but of course he didn’t conquer Britain, so the island remained left-hand drive.

The Ilembe experiment is aimed at throwing off the yoke of the British.

“The British colonial imperialist forced left-hand drive on our country. Nobody asked us if we wanted it. We must break these chains of oppression,” Ilembe acting mayor S’dumbo Gumhead told the Courier.

At the same time, driverless taxis will replace the traditional taxis, because as Gumhead said, it would be too difficult to teach them to only drive on the right.

Since the majority of drivers in iLembe are expected to have difficulty with the transition, it has been decided to ease into the change slowly to give time to adjust.

Right-hand driving days will initially be every Monday, Thursday, and every second Sunday, with extra days being added over time. Traffic cops will be on duty at the north and south ends of the Ilembe district, the Tugela and Tongaat bridges, to stop traffic and tell drivers to switch over to opposite lanes.

Authorities are however particularly worried about the four-way intersection at Tiffany’s, the busiest in the whole district.

So, ward councillor Tammy Cobbley has volunteered to stand point duty for the first month to direct traffic.

“I have three children and a husband so I have experience in telling headstrong people to do what they don’t want to do,” said Cobbley.

The system is set to start this Sunday, April 1.

The plan is to roll it out to the rest of the country after a year of trials, if it works.

So remember on Sunday: “Don’t get a fright, drive right!”

*Please note: This article is an #AprilFools joke. For more about driving on the North Coast click HERE.

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