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A toast to the entity formerly known as Forbes

So Forbes Coal is now Buffalo Coal. (I was somewhat confused, when searching Google for a Forbes e-mail address, that Forbes Coal, at least in this area, no longer exists.)Things at the Golf Club could get interesting… herds of buffalo stampeding the waterholes…So now that Forbes is Buffalo, does that mean that employees will no …

So Forbes Coal is now Buffalo Coal. (I was somewhat confused, when searching Google for a Forbes e-mail address, that Forbes Coal, at least in this area, no longer exists.)
Things at the Golf Club could get interesting… herds of buffalo stampeding the waterholes…
So now that Forbes is Buffalo, does that mean that employees will no longer be allowed to drink with their right hands? Wikipedia describes the ‘Buffalo’ drinking phenomenon as: “A game where participants must ‘chug’ (or ‘down’) their drinks if they drink with the wrong hand (their right). People who play the game refer to themselves as ‘Buffalos’, and groups of players may refer to themselves as a ‘Buffalo Club’.”
Considering the important, positive role that Buffalo Coal plays in our community, perhaps Endumeni should outlaw right-handed liquid consumption entirely, in a show of support, solidarity and appreciation. Maybe the municipal crest can be adjusted to include a buffalo (in Latin, Syncerus Caffer).
I would like to see Buffalo Coal taking up residence in those offices opposite the municipality, reminding them every day who contributes to the economy around here. (And that way, their Curry Parlour orders can be delivered to their front door, instead of them having to send someone to collect from Dev.)
I believe, only due to Buffalo-formerly-known-as-Forbes’s generosity in terms of employment, that this is the reason why Endumeni citizens can afford to pay for electricity. (Which we buy back from Eskom, after Buffalo has sent them our coal, and after Endumeni has put their Electricity Theft Tax on it.)
So Buffalo Coal is what keeps us all going. If Endumeni – the municipality or it’s citizens – couldn’t afford electricity, we’d all have to run to Newcastle to charge our phones.
(Imagine having a good excuse to visit the Mall, instead of ducking up the road under cover of darkness, hiding from the harpies who complain that Dundee people don’t support local businesses?) 
Imagine functions at the Moth Hall by candlelight. Imagine not being able to send racist e-mails from within the municipality. Houses in Strathmore would be burning down due to brazier fires. Shisanyama and potjiekos would become standard fare (or at least, more so than usual). 
Aside from providing employment and sending coal to Eskom, Buffalo Coal has also managed to revive the Dundee sport scene, with all those golfers and squash players in their ranks. Buffalo has hungry staff who support food outlets all over town. Buffalo is charitable, having contributed to just about every NPO or good cause in the area. 
And, those Jägermeister promo girls have got nothing on Buffalo’s employees, who have on occasion been found refreshing golfers on the course with a ‘water hazard’ (of sorts)…
So the next time you feel like complaining about the cost of electricity and the coal trucks, be grateful that there are trucks at all! Pick up your beer (with your left hand), shake the black dust off your laundry, and toast the entity that is Buffalo Coal.

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