Men with depression are four times as likely to commit suicide than women

I’ve never called myself a big fan of Riky Rick’s music but I can’t remember being so upset about anyone’s death in years.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve realised that I have more in common with the star than just our shared nationality and gender – I’ve been grappling with the black dog of severe clinical depression for a quarter of a century now. Which is why I know how that poor man must have felt in his last weeks.

I know it all too well, but I don’t understand it. After all: how is one to understand that the feeling of absolute hopelessness, the complete lack of any enjoyment and the feeling of agitation and irritation is not normal. We prefer to concentrate on the physical pain.

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The headaches, the back pain, the sleeplessness. For us men, it’s difficult to acknowledge in public that we suffer from depression. We believe that we are the stronger gender, after all. It’s much easier to drink too much, to abuse drugs and medication, to live dangerously. Anything but giving away that we are more vulnerable than anyone will ever know.

In response to Riky Rick’s death, the rapper AKA – also a depression sufferer – tweeted: “Ladies… We are crying out for your help. This is so traumatic. Please, let’s not forget about us. We not perfect by any means but damn …. Look at the stats, we are taking our own lives at record highs. Something has to change.” Of course he’s right. Men with depression are four times as likely to commit suicide than women are.

We’re a gender who community look at to protect and to help – not to be protected and be helped. But the truth is that men are mere mortals too.

Perhaps EFF leader Julius Malema said it best in a tweet: “We did not listen to your loud whisper. We thought we still had time, and unfortunately, we are now too late to intervene.”

Yes, there are always cries for help. Admittedly, we’re not shouting out. But, as Juju called it, there are always men pleading in loud whispers. It’s time that we listen; it’s time that we act.

We always believe there is more than enough time before we have to intervene. So often there isn’t. Riky Rick, may you finally rest in peace, free of the terrible rabid black dog.