While money can’t buy you love, there are financial conversations you and your partner must have before your relationship can truly thrive.  

Before you and your partner tie the knot, you will be asked to vow to love each other ‘for richer or for poorer’. When sharing a life with your significant other, money can either set your relationship free or tear it apart.  

Money is by and large the cause of most arguments between a couples, but Regional General Manager at Momentum Free State, Zania Hartman, says the way a couple deals with money can be the cement that forms a strong foundation for the relationship.  

“Discussing money in a relationship can leave many people feeling vulnerable. Yet, like most sensitive topics, if you continue to ignore it, it is likely to become an even bigger issue over time. So, the best time to start talking about money is now,” says Hartman. 

This month of love, if you are taking your special person on a romantic rendezvous, Hartman suggests you use the time to discuss your financial past, present and future. Here are a few key questions Hartman suggests you start with to get financially aligned: 

• How much debt do you have? 

By asking this question, Hartman says you can get to understand how financially vulnerable your partner is. “If the situation is bad, you can then start having conversations about plans to pay off this debt and how this will affect the relationship.” 

• What are your future money goals (savings and retirement) 

If you are going to spend your future together, Hartman says you and your partner are going to have share similar goals. “How you save, what you are saving for and your expectations for retirement are some of the major items that should be on this conversation list,” says Hartman.  

• What’s mine and what’s yours (do we share expenses)? 

Hartman says one should never assume that their finances are their own, especially if you are married. “The reason couples sign pre-wedding marriage contracts is to answer this question. Always discuss this early in the relationship to fully understand how, as a couple, you will be splitting or sharing the money.” 

• What about investments and insurance?  

Financial products like insurance and investments can form a big chunk of any couple’s budget. Hartman says this is particularly important for insurance products, like life insurance or medical aid, in which the partner is a beneficiary or dependant.  

“Investments and insurance are part of long-term financial goals and both members of the couple need to fully agree on it. You should always both be aware of exactly where your money is going and what the expected return is down the line,” says Hartman. 

Regardless of where you are at as a couple, whether you are enjoying the honeymoon phase of a new relationship or in a decade-long marriage, Hartman says it is never too late to be open about money. “If you are struggling to discuss money, I suggest that you both speak to a credible financial adviser to help you navigate your relationship on the journey to success.”