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By Karabo Motsiri Mokoena

Writer. Conversationalist. South African Mommy Blogger,Content Producer

Bontle Moloi and Priddy Ugly measure their parenting success by Afrika’s happiness

Afrika's mama and papa share their journey with this week.

Our favourite celebrity couple Bontle Moloi and her husband, rapper Priddy Ugly, recently answered our mom and dad questions. The two welcomed their daughter Afrika Bonita Lerato Moloi’ early this year, and have recently started showing her beautiful face. Together, they share with us how their parenting journey has been so far.

Being a mom/dad is… The most fulfilling of our live’s many purposes. We are at our personal best as partners being parents to an amazing baby girl.

The last time I gagged because of my kid was when she… had the quickest recovery from her nine-month vaccinations. She took them like a boss! Also, watching her follow direction or learning a new skill is tear-jerking.

The last time I cried was when my childFell asleep in her father’s arms, after what seemed like a frustrating or irritable moment in her evenings. It made me yearn for a love like that from my father.

My advice to other moms/dads would be…There is no instruction manual or one way to parent the right way. There is no single right way, expect the one you choose for yourself and your family. Do it all your way.  Have conversations as partners to ensure you’re on the same page. Receive the countless, and often unsolicited advice from anyone who may feel they are an “expert” at parenting, but don’t apply it all – this includes from your parents who will often want to impose their parenting onto you, or not, dependent on your relationship – but expect it still. Find what works for you, question everything, be interested to find more. And when it gets tough, and you begin to doubt your ability to mother or father your child, know that you are capable. More than capable.

My favourite part about being a mom/dad is... The whole ride. It’s hard to separate moments, reasons or events as if they don’t holistically contribute to the parenting experience. The whole part is the best moment of parenting.

The biggest challenge is... Time! Having to juggle being working parents is really difficult. Raising a little one is increasingly challenging, in these uncertain, Covid times, especially because she calls for your full attention and presence.

My biggest mom/dad guilt is when… We need to leave and not being able to stay home to nurture her 24/7. That separation anxiety is tough enough, but the greater guilt would be not doing what we need to do to, to take care of us, our needs, our family,  our home and our dreams.

My success as a parent is measured by…Her happiness. When she is fed, diapers are changed, and when she is able to sleep comfortably, dressed comfortably, when we see her reach her milestones, when we see her have consistent resilience and never giving up on herself, when she learns a new skill or ability – we have succeeded.

The most important affirmation I say to my child is… You matter. You are enough. You are love. You are light. You are special. You are powerful. Be kind, especially to yourself. Your thoughts, ideas and beliefs are valid and important – share them. You are going to change the world, one smile at a time – just show up.

The most important behaviour/attitude I mirror for my child is… I CAN DO IT!

My work-life balance as a working dad is… Very Challenging, considering the hours or operating at my optimum. Flexibility is what we are afforded so we can still adjust and adapt accordingly. But as the days go by, we find a new rhythm and balance that works. A supportive and present partner makes all the difference.

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