The perfect date does not have to be flowers or chocolates, said romance author Shameez Patel. It can be simple and romantic.
Expressing love can take various shapes. Picture: iStock
Romance is not a textbook.
Cape Town-based romance author Shameez Patel said that the perfect date could be a simple screening of The Lord of the Rings in your back garden on a makeshift home cinema. She said that it doesn’t really matter what the gesture is, because, importantly, you’ve got to be present and acknowledge your partner.
When you know and love someone for their whole, good and bad and ugly, gifting can be simple, ridiculous or sublime.
“For some, it may mean grand gestures,” she said. “For others, it may mean offering them a pair of socks because you may suspect their feet are cold, or to make sure that they have eaten.”
It’s a point of departure, she said, meaning “to be loved is to be seen.”
Patel’s imagination runs wild at night, when she escapes her day job as an engineer and immerses herself in a world of magic, monsters, a bit of mayhem and, of course, love and falling in love.
She pens fantasy fiction, her passion, in between work, raising her daughter, loving her husband and two kitty cats, Turbo and Charge.
Beyond the gifts, what makes people feel loved on Valentine’s Day?
There are many ways to love someone; the key is being open to understanding the way in which someone wants to be loved.
If you had to write a Valentine’s Date scene in one of your books…
As I often write about geeks and fangirls, I think a perfect Valentine’s Day date would be spent in the back garden with a makeshift outdoor cinema screening The Lord of the Rings.
The hero would supply freshly baked bread and a variety of cheeses. The heroine would whip up hot chocolate and a flask of coffee. The weather would play along, and all they’d need is a light blanket to draw them closer as they fall asleep under a star-studded sky.
Romance novels hold a lot of truths about love and romance.
People often equate the predictability of a romance novel with cheesiness or a lack of creativity, without realising that it is knowing there will be a happy ending that brings comfort.
Readers trust romance authors to help them process difficult life situations or learn through someone else’s lens while being guaranteed that they’ll be taken care of. And of course, since its readership is majority women, it’s no surprise it’s dismissed.
Valentine’s Day can put a lot of pressure on people to conform…
There is no right way to express love, only a right way to love someone. Know your person and do what’s best for both of you.
ALSO READ: Seduce your partner at home this Valentine’s Day
Is Valentine’s Day just a cliché?
In my opinion, there is no such thing as a tired cliche, only a lazy way of writing it. Any trope or cliche can be given a new life with exciting characters and interesting motives. There must be a good reason for it to be a cliche, and that reason is likely that it is well-loved in the romance community.
Do romance novels and steam provide insights that people turn to frequently?
I think some do. Whether the advice is always sound is questionable. We have to remember it is fiction. That being said, there is no harm in exploring new ways to love your partner, especially if they’ve already expressed having enjoyed the novel.
Social norms have segued a lot over the past few decades. Did romance novels shape shift at the same pace?
Most, if not all, general romance authors agree that consent is essential. There are taboo romances that are listed that way for a reason. But generally speaking, romance should always have consent (at the very least, implied consent).
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