Fifteen GIFs that perfectly summarise life in the Lowveld
Living here has pros and cons. We'll tell you all about it.
How do you know that someone lives in the Lowveld?
He tells you. On Facebook. Ten times a day.
Let’s face it, Lowvelders. We brag a lot. We brag about our view, how close we are to Mozambique and Swaziland and how generally fabulous we happen to be.
Life in the Lowveld has pros and cons.
We’ve illustrated these with some GIFs.
- The grocery chicken run
Everyone knows everyone around here. One does not merely walk into a grocery store for a litre of milk without bumping into someone you are trying to avoid. Obviously you don’t feel like greeting her. She doesn’t feel like greeting you. So you two haters end up playing chicken. One gives in and waves, only to be ignored flatly. When this happens, she wins because you feel rather stupid.
- Yes, ‘they’ know everything about you
Chances are that your neighbour will know what you’re wearing tomorrow before you will. Lowvelders know too much about each other. That is because gossiping is a pastime around here. Then again, is there any region in South Africa where people don’t like a lekker skinder?
“What? Someone else’s business?” you ask.
-pause-
“Let me get my popcorn.”
- Your inner thermostat gets out of whack
When people move here for the first time, the heat makes them want to die.
January, 2018:
After a few months, they grab a coat whenever the sun’s not shining.
July, 2018:
- You’re wondering where the talent is, yet when you find it, you flee
Snow and eligible singles are equally scarce around here.
When faced with a semi-decent, average looking single female, the average male loses his cool.
The average female who spots a nice, attractive man with manners can’t keep her cool either.
So the story ends where both lose their cool, feel stupid and end up avoiding each other.
*Que awkward grocery chicken run.*
- You are a beauty queen or you know one
The Lowveld hosts a bunch of beauty contests.
This place must be South Africa’s Milan. There’s a crown for every kind – Mr This, Miss That, Mrs All of the above. You get the idea.
- We have an unusually large equestrian community
These people love their horses so much that it is not always clear who ‘the boss’ really is.
Judging by the costs involved…
- Lowvelders are not the best drivers
- They tend to skip red traffic lights
“Chase and catch the traffic light?”
- Locals like a glass of wine…
“One drink? Okay then”
- When it is time for Innibos, Lowvelders always overdo it on the Wednesday
This is followed by what we call “Innibos Thursday.”
- Lastly, Lowvelders are pet lovers par excellence
Four-legged housemates often end up ruling the household.
Also read: How to spot a Lowvelder in Gauteng
Also read: How to spot a Gautenger in the Lowveld
