The Lump…

Sitting quietly in the doctors waiting room the other day was truly revealing
one way or another.

I suppose I`d been there for a half hour or so, and read most of the magazines from cover to cover when we all moved up a notch and I found myself sitting next to a middle aged gentleman, probably in his early forties.
“Wot you `ere for?” he asked politely.
He took me a bit by surprise so I said the first thing that entered my head. “I have an annual check-up due, and I thought it best to come and get it over with.”
“I got this lump.” he whispered throatily.
“Lump?” I queried.
“Yes, the Missus don`t like the look of it.”
“I suppose not.”
“It`s never bothered me, but its grown a bit over the years.
“I see, does it hurt?” I asked.
“Naaa not really, just when I scratch it.”
“Best not to scratch it then, how long have you had it?”
“Dunno, I feel like its always been there.”
“I think it wise to get it checked out.”
“That`s what the Missus say`s, but I am a bit scared at the thought of him poking around with it.”
“Yes I suppose so, I would feel the same.”
“I tried to rub Vicks on it a few years back.”
“Vicks?”
“Yes you know, you rub it on your chest.”
“Did it help?”
“I thought so, but the Missus complained.”
“Complained?”
“The smell put her off.”
“Oh, so its beginning to smell now?”
“No!” Not the lump, the Vicks…..”
It was only natural that my curiosity was aroused at an alarming rate when I heard my being name called.
“Mr. Kennell doctor will see you now.”
As I rose from my seat I whispered in my companions ear.
“Good luck with your lump.”
Alas, I never did find out where the damned thing was…