How to spot a Gautenger in the Lowveld
They flock to our warmer climate over weekends and take over our roads during school holidays. Even though they are not that hard to spot, here is the definitive guide anyway...
• Gautengers keep left and pass right without exception. Whether it is in traffic, on an excavator or in a shopping isle. And when we bump into them we get ‘that’ look. As if we were supposed to have done the same.
• They stop to take pictures of impala in the Kruger National Park. Every time.
• They actually drive down Ferreira Street at a reasonable speed. And brake for the permanent speed cameras.
• At a braai, the Gautenger arrives with individually wrapped Woolies steaks and a bag of charcoal briquettes.
• They are also blissfully unaware of the fact that petrol can be used for lighting fires.
• They are quick to complain about the heat, even when it is not really hot in Lowveld terms, yet they still refrain from sheltering from the sun.
• At a traffic circle, the Gautenger is usually the one who knows how it is supposed to work.
• On Schoemanskloof, they will overtake you on the straights just to brake in front of you for every bend.
They wear brands we’ve never heard of and simply can’t imagine how we survive without ‘that’ shop.
They wear flip-flops with jeans.
Gautengers display a serious lack of khaki and PT shorts,
But they make up for it in over-styled hairdo’s and constricting trousers.
