Blind Date

Fifteen months into my Unisa correspondence course found me floundering with no “lifebelt” within reasonable distance to save me. “Dad,” I called in my best quizzical voice, “What do you know about applied mathematics?”

My dad looked up from his book and the lines on his forehead deepened. “Depends.” he said, cleverly avoiding the question and emerging himself into his book again. “Differential calculus, this question has me stumped.” He looked up again. “Hmm me too, ask your mum.”

I might have guessed that a 50-year old chartered accountant wouldn’t have a clue so I wandered into the kitchen where my mum was preparing the evening meal. “Mummy, I’m stuck on a Calculus question. Who in the family is good at maths?”

It was not perhaps the best of times for the question I posed. Transferring the joint from roasting pan to carving dish was a delicate operation in the small kitchen.

“Oops!” yelped Mum as the meat slid off the fork and landed in the dog’s bowl, “Now look what you’ve done, I wish you wouldn’t ask me questions that need thinking about, and watch out for Cindy. Oh no! Here she comes. Help me, child, don’t just stand there.”

I harpooned the evening meal just in time as Cindy did her best to clean the bowl. “Sorry Ma.”

Later at the dinner table I broached the subject again. “There`s probably a helpline, Katherine, dig out one of your old Unisa college books. I`m sure they won`t leave their students high and dry.”

Dad was right, there was a helpline and I phoned them the following day. Getting to the right person took ages. Eventually I was hooked up with Jeremy Turner, a mathematics adviser, and my troubles were resolved.

But for one week only. I got stuck again, and then again. By this time I was on first name terms with my tutor. “Sorry Jeremy, it’s Katherine yet again, question five… I can`t think what I`m doing wrong, and the answer works out as impossible as I am.”

I heard him chuckle. “Mathematics is an exacting science, Katherine, but you must have a tidy mind if you want to get the right answers.”

“Tidy mind?” I exploded. “No-one could have a…” I stopped to think. In a fraction of a second I remembered that Leon, my boyfriend hadn’t paid back the R400 he had borrowed for his motorbike repairs, that I hadn’t collected the laundry from the dry cleaners, that my dad was having his third heart operation in as many years and that I hadn’t returned my library books.

“You are probably right, there`s too much going on in my life right now for me to have a tidy mind. What do I do, yoga?”

“No!” Definitely don’t tie yourself in knots, you are already tied in knots. Tell you what, I could give you a little personal tuition if you wish?”

“Hmm, well first can`t we clear up my problem on question five?”

“Right then, let`s see. You have a double equation here, work out everything in brackets first, let me do it for you quickly.”

I didn’t really give Jeremy`s proposal much thought, but I did mention it to Leon that evening as we drove home from the youth club we attended. I had stopped outside Leon`s bachelor’s flat to drop him off and was about to kiss him goodnight when I mentioned it.

“Personal tuition, I don`t like the sound of it, and what will his fees be, probably hundreds and we are saving up to get married. I think you should find someone else to help you, this maths guy is getting a bit too familiar for my liking.”

I was hurt. “He`s not like that at all, he sounds like a decent guy and he never complains when I bother him.”

“`Course he doesn’t.” Leon cut back. “That’s his job Katherine, he`s doing what he`s paid to do, and that doesn’t include dating the pupils.”

“He`s not dating me, he just…” Slamming the car door in anger, I didn’t realise that the keys were still in the ignition. I was locked out of my Volkswagen and it was well after midnight. Dumbfounded, we both stared at the keys through the side windows, not knowing what to do next.

“My dad will kill me, Leon, how could you do such a stupid thing?”

“Me?”

“Well you started the argument, I’ve never locked myself out of my car before. Pinelands is over 10 kilometres away. I can`t possibly walk that far.”

Leon’s face spread into a smile. Thrusting his hands into his pockets, he said, “You could spend the night with me if you like?”

I pushed him gently in the chest, “You get a wire coat hanger, Sweetie, and we’ll fish for the door catch… how many guys share that flat of yours anyway?”

“Three, but… but they don’t share my bed, Honey.”

“Neither do I sweetheart, neither do I.”

Leon managed to get the door of the Beetle open by one in the morning. I drove home and was greeted by Mom at the front door… I thought she’d stayed up for me, but I was mistaken.

“Daddy went to hospital this evening, he had pains. They are operating tomorrow morning, a triple bypass.”

Daddy came through with flying colours, and was home in a record four days. Soon after this Leon paid me back the money he borrowed. We went out to celebrate.

After a super luncheon at an Italian restaurant Leon said that he had a surprise for me. Insisting that he blindfold me first, he drove my car to an unknown destination, which turned out to be a remote chalet at an out-of-town motel.

I was furious at first, mainly because he’d planned the escapade right down to the finest detail. He even had the key of the chalet in his pocket, obviating the need to book in at reception.

My womanly intuition told me that Leon wanted more than a few kisses and a close embrace that afternoon. I’m not saying that I had too much wine at the table, yet without a doubt, I believe that bottle of Chianti we shared was part of his plan to seduce me.

In a moment of weakness I agreed to his proposal and although reluctant at first, the excitement of my first sexual encounter overrode any anxiety for what might be the consequences of the act. Like a cheap tart in a sex movie, I undressed, got into bed and waited for my lover to join me.

It was all over in a matter of minutes. Completely disillusioned I found myself dressing again while Leon waited outside in the car. From that moment on Leon and I considered ourselves practically engaged.

Some months after this, Jeremy asked where I lived. Perhaps I was being forward, but I told him. “Hey, you live a stone’s throw from my place, I`d love to meet you sometime.”

Well, I confess I’d had another row with Leon. That same recurring problem we had, sex outside of marriage. After due consideration I wasn’t prepared to give in to him this time.

I was in a carefree mood, spring fever if you like, and I said, “O.K.” tell me when and where and we’ll meet.”

I told my parents, of course. Since they weren’t impressed with Leon anyway, and though a little reluctant, they agreed that I should meet Jeremy in person. It wasn’t a date as such, it was more like Saturday morning coffee at the mall.

Oh my, our meeting was destined for disaster. Saturday morning came and due to a telephone call from an overseas friend I made a very late start. The traffic was horrendous and to crown it all I couldn’t find parking in Sandton Parkade so I had to drive two blocks before I found a spot.

The Copper Kettle Restaurant was so busy that it had spilled over onto the sidewalk. Luckily Jeremy had told me he’d be the guy with the dog! I spotted them in seconds and promptly headed for the black Retriever.

“Hi there, Jeremy, it’s me Katherin,” I postulated. He turned to face me and I was immediately shattered. Staring at the double harness on the dog and the dark glasses on my new-found friend could only mean one thing: Jeremy was blind. He offered his hand and I took it. It was warm and comfortable.

“Katherine, we are so pleased to meet you. This is Lena, my companion. She`s not so lean now, but hopefully she`ll get leaner.”

We laughed, and the tension faded with each smile on his handsome face. I gently patted the dogs flank. “Is her name really Lena?” “Absolutely. Hey girl, say hello to Katherine, good dog.”

Lena barked twice making the entire restaurant turn and stare. “Espresso or Cappuccino?” I asked. Jeremy reached for my hand and I wondered how he knew where it was.

“Please, this is my treat, Kathy, and anyway I`m certain it’s Cappuccino.”

“How can you tell?”

He smiled and for some reason I needed to see his eyes.

“I feel your vibes, you are one cool, calm and collected lady. Only hot bloodied individuals drink Espresso!”

“And my dad.”

“Bet he`s an accountant?”

I spilled my coffee laughing, “How in the world did you know that?”

“Just a good guess I`m afraid, here, let me mop that up for you.”

Taking a paper napkin, he dabbed at the mess in my saucer and I wondered whether he really was blind. We drank our coffee, ate waffles with oodles of cream and were chortling on about nothing really until I asked about his blindness.

“Does it hurt you to remember?”

Jeremy fell silent, the first quiet moment since I`d met him. He ordered a bowl of water for Lena, and she was lapping it up before he ventured a reply.

“I was 12 years old, and it was a Thursday afternoon in the science lab when it happened. We were evacuating air from a bell jar using magnesium for the experiment… I suppose you could say it was all over in a flash!”

“Just like that?” I asked.

“Almost. The magnesium caught at the wrong time, my friend’s fault actually, he was fooling around. Both my retinas were burned beyond repair.”

I felt a strange sinking feeling within me. Pity perhaps, but it passed. “That`s awful Jeremy, absolutely ghastly, and from that moment on you haven`t seen a thing?”

He stooped to pick up Lena`s water bowl and placed it expertly on the table. “I see quite a lot in my mind’s eye, rather like a second sight.”

“And your job? How on earth do you manage to help people with their maths problems without being able to see them?”

“The questions are transposed into Braille for me, one of the marvels of electronics, plus my genius as a mathematician… just kidding, are you dark or fair?”

I felt myself blush. “Fair, blonde in fact.”

“Thought so, I know that its long, shoulder length.”

I desperately wanted to see his eyes. “How can you tell?” I queried.

Again his smile seemed to light up his face.

“Trade secret, may I touch your face with my fingertips, just quickly?”

This was something I wasn’t prepared for. I`d seen it done in movies. It meant nothing then, but in real life it was different. “All right then, I`m right in front of you.”

“I know.” Lena watched as both hands outlined first my forehead, then trailed across the bridge of my nose, my eyebrows, cheeks, lips and chin, then finally my ears and neck. The whole operation felt like a soft summer breeze across my face very early in the morning.

“You`re beautiful,” he said.

“What else?” I teased.

“You don`t use make-up, only a little lipstick.”

“That`s pretty fantastic. Do you live with your parents?”

“No, I live with Lena and I have a daily who keeps my flat clean. My parents live in the UK.”

“It must be lonely for you. Is there anyone else close to you?”

He must have sensed that I was digging. “ Hey, it’s getting late. Heavens, a quarter past twelve already, I must fly.”

I stared in amazement. “How in the world do you tell the time?”

Jeremy smiled knowingly. “Get with it girl, here`s my kind of watch, my fingertips do the rest.”

Pushing back his sleeve, he showed me the special Braille watch on his wrist. Lena was already leading the way out when Jeremy caught my sleeve. “Next Saturday, can we do this again… please?”

He`d caught me offguard. Without fully understanding the implications I nodded, “Alright then, same time, same place. Bye Lena.”

The two headed for the crossing. Perhaps I was being foolish, but I held my breath while man and dog made it safely across. Getting home both Mummy and Dad quizzed me on the meeting.

“How old is he?” asked Mummy.

“Not sure, in his twenties I guess.”

“Married?”

“No,” he lives alone with his dog.”

“He`s got a dog?”

“Yep, he`s got a dog named Lena.”

They grilled me all afternoon. Naturally, they never asked me whether he was blind, and I didn`t tell them either.

Leon came round that evening for supper. Parking his motor-cycle in the small patch of garden at the front of the house, I ran to let him in. “Hi sweetheart, how was your day?”

He was wearing a leather jacket with a bright blue and red Hell’s Angels insignia emblazed across the back. Removing his helmet he drew me roughly to him and kissed me fiercely on the lips.

“Do we have to go in there to eat? I mean it`s going to be a real Dullsville evening, let`s grab a take-away and eat in the park.”

I tried to free myself from his embrace but he held me fast. He kissed me again, brutally this time, and I knew he`d been drinking. “Leon…please.”

“Say you`ll come, you have your helmet, let`s get out of here.”

My dad saved the day. “What`s going on here?” We fell apart.

“Hello Mr Andrews, I was just asking Katherine if you`d mind very much if we ate out tonight.”

Daddy was in his shirtsleeves, he hated motorbikes.

“You know, I don`t really like my daughter riding pillion on that thing, Leon, and in any case we have already laid a place for you at the table.”

In his disappointment, Leon squeezed my hand so hard it hurt. “Very well then, Mr Andrews but we won`t be staying long.”

My mum had roasted a chicken for supper, my favourite. Everything was going fine until Leon let slip that he had proposed to me. “Did I tell you that me and Katherine want to get married soon?” he blurted out.

“Katherine and I,” corrected my mum. “No, she hasn’ t mentioned it yet, have you Katherine?”

My dad seethed. “You best get a job first son, before you start thinking about marrying my daughter.”

“I got a job, Mr Andrews. Alright, it doesn’t pay as much as a chartered accountant, but its steady. Look, I bought that leather jacket yesterday, cost an arm and a leg, it did, but I bought it with my own money.”

Dad glanced at the jacket flung across the armchair in the lounge. I felt him shudder. “Very nice, but shouldn`t you be saving for a house perhaps, or better still, furniture?”

“We love each other, Mr Andrews, that`s what matters most.”

Mummy whispered, “That`s so sweet, Leon, we all love Katherine too.”

Leon swilled his wine around in his glass and swallowed it down in one vast gulp. “Yeah, but I mean really love, Mrs Andrews, don`t we girl?”

Too embarrassed to reply, I excused myself from the table and went to my room. The evening didn’t end as it should have. Mummy excused me from doing the washing up and Leon and I sat on the back porch watching the moon rise over the lake. We sat with our arms around each other, gazing at the reflections in the water.

“I can`t stop thinking about that afternoon at Pinelake Motel, Katherine. You loved me then, and you know I love you. We could go again, you just have to give the word.”

”I`m trying hard to forget it, Leon,” I said in all honesty. “It was a mistake, an awful mistake and I don`t want my parents to ever find out about it, understand?”

“But Katherine…” Perhaps I wasn’t being altogether fair to the guy, I admit that I felt uneasy as he swung himself onto his motorcycle, revved its engine and took off for the highway.

Dad shook me awake at quarter after three that night. “Katherine, it`s Mrs Joubert, Leon’s mum,” he whispered. “There`s been an accident.”

“Accident?” I tried to gather my thoughts. “An accident…Leon…Oh no… no… no… no…”

Leon was laying in hospital was terrible head injuries and wasn’t expected to live. I drove as fast as I could through the night. How I got there in one piece I`ll never know. Mrs Joubert was sitting, head in hands, outside the ICU. She stood up as I swept through the swing doors.

“You`re too late, Katherine, he`s gone.” The room began to sway and I blacked out. Leon was an only child and without a father. We were all devastated. After the funeral I spent a little time alone with Mrs Joubert, consoling each other through our tears.

Yet the niggling feeling that I was responsible for Leon’s death persisted. Giving me Leon`s leather riding jacket was perhaps the most traumatic experience I’d had in my short lifetime.

“I want you to have it Katherine, he would have wished it don’t you think?”

All I saw was the face of anger on the young man’s face as he mounted his bike and drove off. I threw the jacket into the back of my car knowing that it was perhaps the last thing that I would want of his.

Dad called Jeremy and explained the situation to him, and the reason why I could not meet him for coffee on Saturday morning. Unable to concentrate, I stopped my correspondence course completely and spent hours alone in my bedroom doing absolutely nothing. A week went by, then two, and then a month.

Mummy did her best to wean me from the dreadful guilt complex I bore by bringing me flowers, boxes of chocolates and tickets for the theatre. A dreadful depression took the place of guilt. I even thought of death itself as an escape route. I was at rock bottom in a pit of despair.

Quite out of the blue, Jeremy called almost two months after Leon’s tragic accident.

“Hi how’s it with you Katherine?” I was lost for words.

“Oh Jeremy, not good I’m afraid, I’m not doing my BA anymore. I’m taking a brief vacation, but thanks for the call, bye.” I hung up regretting that I did. Once more that guilty feeling swept over me. How could I have treated a blind person with such contempt? He was simply trying to be friendly.

I rang him back the next day. “Jeremy, I want to apologise for my behaviour yesterday. To make amends, how would you like to spend Sunday with us? There`s just Dad and Mum and me… Oh, we have a dog, would that be a problem?”

I heard him laugh, “Heavens no, Lena is very sociable with everyone, including mongrels.”

“Cindy, I’ll have you know, is a thoroughbred Jack Russell terrier, I’ll pick you up at the Copper Kettle if that’ OK with you?”

Not sure about telling my Mum and Dad that Jeremy was blind, I decided not to. After all, he was quite respectable and in every way normal apart from his unfortunate affliction. For the first time since Leon had died I felt just the hint of excitement. Was I making a recovery from my grief-stricken guilt? Time would tell.

I arrived at the Copper Kettle on time. Jeremy and Lena sat at a table on the sidewalk, as they had done before. “Hi there, all set?” I asked.

We got into my beetle and settled down for the ride when Jeremy asked whether I had told my mum and dad that he was blind. “No, I didn’t,” I admitted. “Should I have?”

He was quiet for a moment. “I think so, just to prepare them… Some regard me as some kind of freak.”

“Freak?” I didn’t understand. “Jeremy, you are anything but a freak, believe me.”

We drove on in silence. Arriving home, I drove into the driveway as close as possible to the back door believing that it would be more convenient for my friend and his guide dog.

I beeped the hooter twice, letting my parents know that we had arrived. Without thinking, their half-witted daughter grabbed Jeremy’s right arm and we stood, man wearing dark glasses and his dog and me, a pretty useless- looking trio as Dad opened the door. The look of horror on their faces will remain with me forever.

“Dad, Mum, this is Jeremy and Lena, his companion guide dog.”

“Pleased to meet you, won’t you come in.” whispered my mum, still in shock and treating Jeremy like he was some kind of insurance agent.

Our dog Cindy went berserk. Lena sat beside her master, controlled and unconcerned. “You have a very pleasant place here, I like an open-plan lounge and kitchen in a house, and keeping the French doors open make it so cool and refreshing,” began Jeremy.

Dad was floored. Drawing me to one side he said. “He’s not blind, he’s damned well kidding you girl, watch out for him.”

I filled a bowl with water for Lena and sat beside her master. The air was suddenly electric. My parents had never been so hostile. Even towards Leon, who wasn’t cultured or particularly smart, they had shown a genuine affection for him knowing that he was fond of me.

While Mum was putting the finishing touches to our mid-day dinner, Jeremy excused himself to freshen up, as he put it. Walking past our ancient Steinway baby grand piano he paused a moment. I watched his broad hands caress the highly polished lid of the keyboard. Lena sat down next to the piano stool and looked lovingly at her master. “May I?” he asked simply.

Dads face lit up like a firework display, “You play?” he gasped. Jeremy opened up the keyboard, “A little,” he said smiling. Then came the miracle. Our house was suddenly filled with music. Mum and Dad sat enraptured as Jeremy played selections from Chopin, Brahms, Beethoven and Bach. Dinner was temporarily abandoned.

Years ago, when I was a little girl, Dad had played until arthritis took over and he had to give up the one thing he loved best in life. Music. As the final notes of List`s Lebensraum echoed across the lounge, I confess we were all close to tears. Enraptured by his playing brilliance I ran to Jeremy and threw my arms about his neck.

“That was so beautiful, I want to cry,” I said, not wanting him to stop. Lena growled her disapproval.

“Now she knows she has opposition, nose put out of joint, hey girl?”

If ever music played its part in the unity and happiness of a family, it was then. I fell head over heels in love with a blind concert pianist, and Dad, bless him, gave his wholehearted approval of our marriage on condition that Jeremy never stopped playing.

Now I remember Leon as the guy with the motorbike. The leather jacket long since jettisoned along with the memories of that fateful afternoon.

As for blind dates, ask Jeremy, he’ll be a Dad in three week’s time.