Biological clock? Seriously?!
The table between me and the gynaecologist is his saving grace.
He repeats: “You are at an age where you need to make certain decisions. Ideally, you would have been married by now. And you’ll be deciding on how many children you want to have.”
‘How is it my fault that I’m not married?’ I wonder.
My reply is filled with sarcasm: “Geez, doctor. My bad. I’ve been meaning to ask myself to marry me, but couldn’t muster up the courage yet.”
“The biological clock is a reality,” he continues.
I decide to shut his mouth by telling him that I plan not to marry or have children. “Ever,” I say to stress how serious I am about going through life solo.
The truth is: I would have liked the married life.
But if it is not happening, I’m not going to make it happen.
I listed my reasons why:
1.) Romantic love is not a right.
“I deserve to be loved!” No. You don’t.
Romantic love is a privilege.
If you believe that you deserve to be loved, you’ll spend your years chasing after it when you could have spent that time loving and caring for yourself.
“Maybe I don’t deserve to be loved?” If you ask that, you are fishing for sympathy. Stop it.
2.) In this life, you can only trust yourself.
You were there when you were born. You are still here now. You have made millions of choices with one intention: to protect yourself and to advance your benefits. The fact that you are still alive means that you are not doing too bad in this game called life. Why trust another person to take care of you when you have been doing it yourself for years?
3.) In this life, you cannot trust anyone else with your happiness.
“I deserve to be happy!” If you’ve ever said this to someone hoping that it’ll convince them to love you or make you happy, you do not understand what happiness means. Happiness is not something that anyone else can give you.
Maybe you are in a relationship. And maybe that makes you happy. But ultimately, your decisions are what sketch the life you are living. You decided to follow a certain career. You decided to love the one you are with. You decided to befriend your friends. These factors may contribute to your happiness, but your genuine, honest happiness comes from within.
How you feel when you are alone reflects whether you are truly happy or not.
You can increase your happiness by forgiving your own past mistakes and making the right choices in life. Your choices sketch the landscape in which you will live.
Knowing that you are responsible for your own happiness, why would you act as if anyone else can make you happy?
Why would you chase after a partner only to confirm that he/she was never responsible for your happiness to begin with?
4.) You can’t love another if you are not happy on your own.
How is it humanly possible to pour water from an empty tank?
You can’t.
Likewise, you cannot care for others if you have not taken proper care of yourself first.
By proper care, I mean that you make choices that paint a healthy, stable landscape for you to live in. If you have not taken care of your own joy and emotional stability, you cannot offer this to anyone else.
5.) Honestly, relationships are admin.
Worrying about your own basic needs is difficult enough.
Managing your own schedule is a mission. As is feeding yourself and making enough money to survive. If you haven’t gotten the hang of it yet, why burden yourself with someone else’s needs?
6.) If you chase after love, you will settle for less.
Some people are so obsessed with finding “the one” that they will pick someone that is, harshly put, not worth it.
Desperation makes you settle for someone who is not as clever, pretty, nice or healthy as you are. Rather be single until the right one comes along.
