At the first workshop of this program, More Time to Think, and supported by a book with the same name and authored by Nancy Kline, all participants were introduced to a number of powerful concepts related to effective communication.
The most important of these are to listen and to allow the other party within the conversation, time to think and articulate their thoughts. And here is the important element – all parties involved within a particular conversation consciously agree beforehand that they will not interrupt the other – in fact, they will keep quiet even once the other has finished his/her sentence to allow for the possibility that that person may in fact not have completed what he/she was saying and still require more time to complete/articulate their thoughts. Can you do that?
It is not as easy as you may think because most often we listen only with the intent to, once the other stop, rush in there with our own thoughts and or answers for whatever we think the other’s problem is. There is tremendous power in verbalizing and listening to one’s own thoughts just as much as there is power in the writing down of one’s thoughts.
Try this. Allow your partner to verbalize whatever he/she wants to think about, for two minutes while you look them in the eye, listen 100% attentively and don’t you dare interrupt them. Then change roles.
Also you need not use your two minutes to respond on anything your partner said. Articulate your own thoughts on whatever you would like to think about…
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It is powerful. You may well, whilst verbalizing your thoughts, find solutions for whatever it is that may be troubling you or, you may simply expand your awareness of whatever magical insights, being totally in the moment, present.
Apply this in meetings – allow everyone around the table to express their thoughts (strictly no interruptions), about a particular challenge and or possibilities and see what happens.
It creates equality in the value of each person’s opinion/contribution – encourages participation from the normally quiet ones and well, the latter in particular, may well blow your mind with their thoughts/ideas/suggestions.
Another powerful problem-solving technique and within short pre-determined time limits, is referred to as the counsel. Select a small group (it can be volunteers) from the larger group. Form a circle and allow another – let’s refer to this person as A, who may be faced with a particular challenge, to articulate, in as clear as possible terms, the problem – again within a time limit (5 min).
Each member of the counsel is then allowed to ask one question – perhaps just to clarify an element of the problem (2 min). Once all council members’ question has been answered, A gets another 2mins for a general response to the counsels input.
Then each counsel member is allowed 2mins to offer possible solutions (2 mins only). That is it – A can then investigate/apply/ignore all these possibilities in their own time.
At this session and within the space of 20 minutes, the counsel generated a number of powerful and possible solutions for a very serious challenge faced by many principals – especially in rural schools.
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So, after some more personal time to think and contemplate the concept, I made a list of ten benefits that can be derived from applying more time to think.
Ten benefits from consciously creating thinking environments:
- Only a gentle instruction on the time-frame and a clear goal is required by the mind to involve itself with the intention.
- It teaches one to synchronise your attention and intention and this always generate a powerful energy for healing and creativity.
- It takes away the fear and frustration of being interruption.
- It establishes and recognises the inherent value/worth of the individual self.
- The quietness in between thoughts (between the in breath and the exhale) becomes the space where wisdom and insight springs from.
- The co-inspired attention from the thinking partner, offers a collective source of wisdom especially if the latter’s body language displays his/her commitment.
- Just about a 100% guarantee that solutions/ideas/alternatives can and will be found within or perhaps just outside of the preset time frame. Sometimes the sub and super conscious mind insists on simmering a little on a particular idea before it presents it.
- Time does allow for angry, stressed and frustrated minds to relax in introspect.
- It makes buy-in easier and more accessible.
- It establishes authenticity within a negotiation/decision-making process.
Your thoughts…?
