Picture this… It’s 2067 and the Internet, along with all other forms of modern technology has crashed. No more selfies, check-ins, likes, retweets or, dare I say it, memes. And, unfortunately, no more online celeb scandals for us to rant over. How ever will we survive?
My life has reached somewhat of an impasse; these days my hand becomes numb from scrolling and it seems there is not much worthy of a like anymore, to say the least. This resulted in a quick visit to the settings section and a deactivation of all social media accounts. Little did I know the adverse effects going cold turkey would have on me…
If you have also reached this point, after being very brave and bold as I was at first, and also then started to panic, you’re not alone.
Initial withdrawal symptoms included a constant need to click or swipe. I later considered a visit to my GP when my hand started doing this involuntarily, and soon after emailed my psychiatrist when signs of phantom vibration syndrome or what is referred to as “ringxiety” emerged.
I will admit that I experienced what I believe to be an existential crisis. I questioned things that had been a part of my everyday life for a very long time…
Wondering how anyone would ever get in contact with me ever again, how I’d find out if my acquaintances or friends got pregnant, promoted, or even dumped. How would I ever meet Mr Right? What about my selfies? They would now forever waste away in my gallery. And all the pages I’d liked… News updates, the latest fuel hike, local events?
Read more: Social media scamming: do not be caught off guard!
Solution #1: Communicate
Trust me, if someone wants to contact you, they’ll find a way. The people I’d rather avoid probably won’t know how to reach me via my cell or email anyway, so in this case staying off social media is an advantage. I’ve since resolved to staying in touch the old-fashioned way, by giving someone a call or going for coffee.
Solution #2: The grapevine
News travels fast, so if your bestie from school and her new hubby are expecting or the guy from sales is on the market, I’ll find out soon enough. This ties in with Solution #1. I’ve learnt to ask how others are doing, not to get the latest gossip, but to get to know them face to face rather than through a screen. This might pose a challenge for those of us with social anxiety, but I promise you, when approached with caution, people don’t bite.
Solution #3: The selfie
Ah, yes. It is a plague which befalls us all. Don’t act like you don’t do it. We like nice photos of ourselves, and we like it when other people like those nice photos. I’ve found that changing my WhatsApp profile photo every once in a while fills the void. Having someone text you to compliment you on your photo is so much better than a like, anyway.
Solution #4: Your feed
Not being on social media means I’m missing out on updates from all my favourite pages, be it those of musicians, shows, movements or organisations. Right? Wrong. This is where my trusty friend email comes in. Most of these people or places have newsletters which I’ve subscribed to and if they don’t, they should. Alternatively visit the website every now and then – like we used to in the old days.
Solution #5: Wireless dating
It’s so much easier to befriend someone we fancy without actually approaching them. Swipes and likes are the way to go. Believe it or not, but I have met eligible bachelors without apps. Warning: this method requires courage. Remember way back when we had to ask for someone’s number instead of stalking them on social media until they eventually caught on? Be brave, my friends, be brave.
Solution #6: News
Knowledge is power, hence it is vital to know what is going on around you, especially the community we live in. Even when I feel like avoiding the Internet altogether, I can always count on newspapers to bring me up to speed. Read Lowvelder every Tuesday and Friday to stay in the loop on hard, community and sport news. We’re online, too.
Also read: Are you a social media addict? Know the symptoms and the cure!
