Black markets: If it’s worth stealing, it will be stolen

Step aside Creep-Crawly and let’s burn the text-books of Dr Barnard; South Africa is more recently famed for something else – nearly every natural thing it seems. In the last year we’ve read of international black markets for our poached succulents, cycads, bush lilies and winner of the most obscure: sungazer lizards smuggled in teddy bears marked “gift teddies and candies”.

It’s made even more ridiculous because by extension, that smuggling attempt meant that somebody actually believed in the South African Post Office.

The most recent bust involved the poaching of 418 parrot eggs followed by 50 more eggs a month later. While some may prefer their parrot eggs scrambled, I think we can mostly agree that given the choice, we’d prefer to keep them here. If not, we’d like to keep the resource sustainable. Ask East Londoners; they’ve made an entire industry out of the dodo egg even though nobody has seen the bird in over 300 years.

Succulents aren’t in short supply. Sure, certain species are but buyers in Asia are unlikely to be as invested in the difference between a Spekboom and Jade Plant any more than the average South African is invested in the difference between an 87 and an 88 Bordeaux.

It’s nearly a certainty that many of the eggs wouldn’t have survived even if they weren’t flying on a Boeing, so it would make sense to find a way to either make them unobtainable on this side of the border or make them so obtainable that it would make less sense to go through the surreptitious effort of concealing them between your tampons and copy of A Court of Thorns and Roses.

It merely begs the question, if there’s such demand that people are willing to go to these lengths to get the product, why not flood the market with sustainable variants? It might not work with rhino horn but even after a drunken surgeon’s lobotomy, a kid in grade 9 can grow a karoo cactus.

Parrot eggs don’t come as frequently as may be needed so an alternative plan may be required. Thank goodness generations of catholic children have spent the last 20 centuries learning to disguise eggs. They’ve become so great at it that they delude even themselves into believing that the eggs were laid by the previous year’s hide and seek champion in the rabbit category.

Nothing is impossible except, for whatever reason, applying what we can to thwart those who want to grab our biodiversity.

Since 1995, we’re not allowed to put them to death. We cannot force-feed them unleached lupini beans. We’re not even so much as allowed to offer them the wooden spoon treatment of the angry Middle Eastern mother. The best we can do it put them through a system that prioritises putting the violent guys away – and since there are so many of those, to make space for them, the others often get to go free to get another bite of the succulent plant.

Why are people caught smuggling eggs through OR Tambo a month after people are caught smuggling eggs through OR Tambo? Because people know they can smuggle eggs through OR Tambo. Nobody would do it if they knew they’d get caught. I doubt many would do it if they knew there was a significant chance of being caught. So, one must ask, how significant is the chance that they’d get caught if there have been two busts, a month after each other…and how many weren’t busted?

You cannot expect the public to be satisfied with some stories of catching the poachers when the stuff is still being poached. The bigger question is why is the stuff still being poached if the poachers keep getting caught. I don’t believe that they are and I certainly don’t believe that those who are are punished harshly enough.

Imagine how much more fun the market for rhino horn would be if there’s a chance you’re opening a bag of ricin instead. You’ve got to make the market not want the stuff rather than make those collecting it more afraid to do it. Because wherever there’s a market, there’s somebody desperate enough to do the evil work on behalf of a person with bucks.