Pen, not prison: How creative writing saves us from ourselves

Let’s be honest – if authors like me didn’t have creative writing as a sidetrack, we’d probably be in a lot more trouble. I am talking about actual trouble.

That may or may not involve handcuffs or jail time. Admittedly, we do hear voices – but we write them down instead of answering them out loud.

Without a pen and paper, those character conversations in our heads might land us in a straitjacket.

Thankfully, writing them into novels is socially acceptable and occasionally even profitable. Please note the emphasis on “occasionally”.

Another thing we do is plot murders … on paper. Our Google search history must seem very scary to our families. We Google things like “how to dispose of a body” and “how long it takes for poison to kick in” – and get away with it.

Why? Because we’re writing a thriller, not planning one. (Mostly.) My absolute favourite: I get revenge creatively.

The man that rudely cut in front of me at the local supermarket last week is now the villain in chapter 4 of my new suspense thriller – with a suspicious rash, a dark past and an unfortunate nickname.

People often complain that we are mostly unsocial, but writing has a positive side or two.

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It keeps us too busy to join a cult – or start one – because creating entire fantasy worlds takes time.

So, instead of becoming a robe-wearing guru, we write about one – with plot twists and fire-breathing goats. Just because we can.

Creating a book is actually legal daydreaming, so we can’t get into trouble for it. Staring into space in a café or behind a desk while whispering, “Yes, the dragon shall return…” is way less.

Why confront your issues when you can give them to a fictional character and put them through an emotional hurricane?

Therapy? Expensive. Writing? Free. And it does not involve medication, unless it is something for a stiff neck, or numb legs.

Muttering dialogue while pacing in pyjamas equals eccentric artist. Doing that without a notebook equals awkward conversation with HR.

Hence, we can be weird, and call it a “creative process” without feeling guilty. So yes, it is true creative writing keeps us busy, out of courtrooms, and away from starting unnecessary fires – metaphorical or literal.

If the pen is indeed mightier than the sword… then, luckily, it also keeps writers from actually needing to use one.

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