The blurred lines of identifying rapists

Whether you call it an urban legend or a myth, the idea of Pinky Pinky is one that every South African schoolgirl, past and present, is familiar with.

Shortly before the growing list of victims of femicide had Leighandre “Baby Lee” Jegels, Uyinene Mrwetyana and Jesse Hess’ names added to it, a social media post about the origins of the myth of Pinky Pinky did the rounds.

“What if this Pinky Pinky character that girls were scared of in primary was actually a name created by a young girl who was raped in school but never had the courage to tell anyone? Instead, she came up with the name to scare and alert other young girls to never go to the toilet alone?” said one social media user.

According to a post on aquiziam.com – a website dedicated to the secrets of the human mind and the world – Pinky Pinky is a creature that has been described as half man, half woman and is often sighted in places where young girls are likely to be alone.

Over the years, others have identified it as a tokoloshe of sorts that attacks young girls who go to the toilet alone.

“Descriptions vary but those that are consistent describe a pink-skinned, feminine man of late middle age who dresses in both male and female clothes,” reads the post.

“If a person surprises this creature they can see its face which is human but ugly, mottled and often bald. If it sees a person looking, its features blur so that all someone can see are two pink-coloured eyes.”

Pinky Pinky speaks to society’s tendency of denouncing the humanity of sexual offenders as soon as they are outed.

“What a monster”, “he behaves like an animal” and “real men don’t rape” are just some of the phrases that are thrown around when a rapist or molester are exposed, as they were when we heard about Mrwetyana’s horrific ordeal.

However, the offender is always human – just like you and me.

These people behave normally and even treat others with kindness, respect and dignity.

The offender is never some mythical creature. Sometimes he is your boss, your teacher, your father, brother, sister, security guard, uncle, bodyguard and even your favourite celebrity.

Another consequence of Mrwetyana’s murder has been the establishment of South Africa’s #MeToo movement under the banner #AmINext.

As part of this movement, offenders’ names, social media handles and favourite hangout spots have been anonymously shared on various social media accounts via direct message. Screenshots of this information were then shared on the timeline as a way of warning others to avoid known offenders.

Social media users have been reeling from seeing the names of people they know on the list and others have even gone into defence mode – insisting that they know the person who has been outed and that they would never do such a thing.

But that’s the thing, anyone can be a rapist. And perhaps we need to stop putting confirmed offenders in the same realm as Pinky Pinky.

That way, we’ll be more inclined to not come to the defence of a rapist just because we know them and they never raped us – and lend our support to the survivors, who need it most.

Kaunda Selisho.

For more news your way, download The Citizen’s app for iOS and Android.