When abuse is on display yet still ignored

There is a boldness in the injustices visited upon others that has become so blunt and lacking in restraint.

It is put on display and it is impossible to claim that we have not borne witness to it.

Last week, we watched popular polygamist Musa Mseleku speak harshly of and to his wives, Nokukhanya Yeni Mseleku and Thobile “MaKhumalo” Mseleku, and he previously did to Mbali “MaNgwabe” Mseleku.

In another reality show, we see Thando Dlamuka and Siyacela Dlamuka navigate through a tumultuous marriage plagued with obvious infidelity, emotional and psychological manipulation and patriarchally reinforced abuse by enabling family members.

Who these men can be behind closed doors leaves one questioning their integrity.

Abuse of a public figure brings to light the struggle faced by ordinary women on a daily basis, be it verbal or physical.

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This struggle screams to deaf ears for assistance, bleeds to reluctant hands for aid and cries to emotionally blind eyes for recognition.

Ultimately, its victims are buried by forlorn mourners who stand by the graveside asking: why there was never a plea for help when there is nothing that can be done to reverse the hands of time.

This crowd of selective helpers ask themselves why not even a bit of assistance was forthcoming.

As a society that perfectly sums us up – only willing to come to the aid of the weak and downtrodden when it’s too late.

Switch the amazement from the celebrities to the ordinary Joe Soap.

This is a daily occurrence, too. Men such as the alleged murderer of Snenhlanhla Mathosi had enough bravado to ambush Mathosi before killing her at a retail store, a busy one, in the presence of some of her co-workers.

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This takes guts and intent. If this is what he could do in public, what was happening behind closed doors?

What has become of the value of life, dignity and sanity?

Young men and boys must be taught to accept that rejection and disappointment are part of life.

We cannot get everything we want. We must accept that there are things our hearts desire that may not be granted to us.

That women are too afraid to end relationships because we can’t accept the finality of it is ridiculous. That the same women must be shamed and killed calls into question their reasoning.

What our society deems permissible is not acceptable and we need to confront and correct this.

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