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Things government did and said in 2022 that made us go WTF [Part one]
Great leaders inspire hope and love in the nations that they lead. Our leaders make us question why we exist at all.
Image created by Narissa Subramoney
In a country ravaged by woeful misgovernance, political instability and rampant corruption, the only constant is that we can always count on our government for ‘pearls of wisdom’, or as we, the nation, experience their contributions – WTF moments.
We must remember that most of their time in office is spent jostling for power, so it’s not surprising government lives in a reality that is very different to ours. (The ministerial handbook granting ministers free essential services comes to mind, more on that in Part two.)
Just like Chief Justice Raymond Zondo had to deliver his extensive report into state capture in various volumes, we’ve had to divide the stupid s**t government told us this year alone into parts.
Here are some of our minister’s most outrageous remarks… while their constituents survive life in never-ending load shedding, crater-sized-potholes, obscene plundering of state infrastructure, a shrinking tax-paying base and everything else that comes with life in Mzanzi:
Gwede Mantashe: Minister for Mineral Resources and Energy
2022 is the year South Africans got to see just how diep-in-die-kak Eskom is, with the worst load shedding in the country’s history. Naturally, we turned to our Energy Minister for a way forward out of the crisis, Here’s what we got instead:
SA is not an island, load shedding happens everywhere
“When you explain the crisis to society, South Africans see themselves as an island when the electricity crisis is a global phenomenon.”
He added that Europe’s coal orders from South Africa have increased by 720% and that they, too, were experiencing bouts of load shedding.
“But we have the responsibility to address it.” Except Eskom sounded the alarm about the looming crisis as far back as 2005.
ALSO READ: SA is not an island, load shedding happens everywhere
That time Mantashe accused Eskom of treason
As the country battled stage 6 load shedding at the beginning of the year, Mantashe had a go at Eskom, saying load shedding is worse than state capture.
He added that Eskom’s failure to arrest the decline of the generation fleet could be interpreted as an attempt at overthrowing the government Business Day reported.
Spare a thought for the person who has to remind Mantashe that Eskom is in this predicament because of state capture.
Eskom CEO Andre De Ruyter threw in the towel on Wednesday when he announced his resignation. A mass exodus of senior Eskom officials are expected to follow in the coming weeks.
ALSO READ: Eskom, by not attending to load shedding, is actively agitating for the overthrow of the state
Pravin Gordhan: Minister of Public Enterprises
Ok, we unsurprisingly didn’t get leadership or comfort from Mantashe, the minister in charge of SOE’s might have more empathy for us… right? Nah fam, Gordhan was in spin mode, except he’s so bad at it.
Gordhan spins himself into an alternative reality where the ANC are Avengers
During a heated debate on the country’s energy crisis in May, Gordhan’s contribution was to tell the members of Parliament to stop referring to all ANC members as “criminals” and “thugs”.
“Referring to all ANC members as criminals is wrong,” said Gordhan.
“There are many honest, dedicated patriotic South African members of the ANC, just as there are honest members of the DA, EFF, IFP and any other party.
“These are the honest people who want an honest government, who want the state to work for the people of this country, and who want corrupt people to end up in orange uniforms,” said Gordhan.
Shem… someone should tell him the memory of ANC members’ raping and pillaging of the country is embedded in our DNA; the small group of good apples in the rotted ANC cart is not going to cut it.
ALSO READ: Stop calling us thugs, we’re trying to fix Eskom
That time he tried to convince us ANC wasn’t to blame for load shedding
He went there!
“In 1983 under a different government, we had load shedding which led to a decision to build several power stations which were eventually completed in the early 1990s, and are still problematic so not everything is the fault of the ANC.”
Gordhan took a leaf out of Mantashe’s book when he said the ANC was void of blame regarding the load shedding conundrum. (At this stage, we are grateful it wasn’t pants out of Mantashe’s wardrobe.)
ALSO READ: ANC not to blame for load shedding
Bheki Cele: Minister of Police
Guess the song…
Police Minister Bheki Cele is a prime example of a government not realising how gatvol the nation has become in 20 years under ANC governance.
Cele lost his cool (to put it mildly) in the Western Cape when crime-fighting activist Ian Cameron decided to take him head-on in full view of television cameras.
“I have lived this life. I have lived the life of being African… I have lived a life where my mother was called a kitchen girl, and my father was called a garden boy [so] I’m not going to take any nonsense from someone who considers me a garden boy,” the minister said before telling Cameron to “shut up”.
Except Cele’s parents were not domestic workers, but he did borrow the lines from a well-known struggle song.
ALSO WATCH: ‘You consider me a garden boy!’ – Bheki Cele berates crime activist
That time ‘a woman was lucky to be raped’
Then in August, Cele caused an uproar after saying a 19-year-old girl was lucky to be raped by one man.
Cele, in an interview on eNCA, gave the developments of the Krugersdorp rape incident, where eight women were gang raped.
“They ordered the rest to watch as others were raped, one woman was raped by ten different men, the other one by eight, the other one by six, four and three and all that,” said Cele.
“The one 19-year-old was lucky, if it is lucky, that was raped by one man.”
ALSO WATCH: Cele says victim ‘lucky to be raped by one man’
Cele explains how to be a minister of police
When the South African Human Rights Commission’s (SAHRC) investigative hearings on the 2022 July riots got underway, Cele had to explain the police’s astounding failure to carry out its serve and protect mandate.
He explained to the panel that his role as minister is not operational; however, he is present at times for oversight purposes.
“When police have operations sometimes, I am physically there, [but I do] not lead those operations [and] not telling police what to do,” he said.
He also thought that sharing a cuppa with former President Jacob Zuma in Nkandla would prevent the onslaught.
“I went to speak with the old man [and] it [was] famous that Cele [was] having tea in Nkandla. It was part of seeing if things can’t be stopped before they reach a breaking point because you could see that they were going there.”
ALSO READ: Cele’s explanation of his role as police minister
Tattoos and ‘gangster tendencies’
After criminals shot up a tavern in Orlando East, which led to 15 people losing their lives, the non-operational police minister made the obligatory visit to the scene in the days that followed.
While trying to convince residents that security had been beefed up in the area, Cele managed to get loads of South Africans across the country riled up with his views of those with body art.
He said new applicants would be put through a gauntlet of fitness, psychometrics, and medical tests as part of the recruitment process, but those who like their skin with a bit of ink need not apply.
“When you have a tattoo, we don’t hire you because you have a tendency of being a gangster.”
ALSO READ: Tattoos and ‘gangster tendencies’
*Part two to follow
Compiled by Narissa Subramoney
