APRIL is Autism Awareness Month, a month dedicated to amplifying the voices, stories and experiences of individuals and those associated closely with the autism community. One of those voices is that of Vishen and Mechelle Maharaj, devoted parents who are raising two children on the autism spectrum. Their story is one of overcoming adversity, and of acceptance, unconditional love and family resilience.

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Vishen and Mechelle live on The Bluff with their children, Nirvana (18), Arianna (15) and Kai (9). Nirvana is neurotypical, and Arianna and Kai have autism, each with their own unique strengths, needs and personality.

Kai was diagnosed when he was three-years-old when his parents noticed a steep drop in his energy levels and enthusiasm. Vishen said Arianna was diagnosed a lot later, at age 10, which surprised the family as she had always appeared to be neurotypical.

Vishen said Kai and Arianna have polar opposite diagnosis of autism. “Kai is sensory seeking, so he enjoys hugs, cuddles and activities that involve a lot of engagement. Arianna is sensory adverse, so she tends to enjoy alone time, so we give her the time and space she needs,” he said.

The two children require different amounts of support. Kai requires level three support which is the most intense level, while Arianna requires level one which is the lowest amount.

Vishen shared that parenting children with autism is something that comes with practice and the want to always make them feel comfortable.

“Routine is critical. If a usual routine is not followed, we find that Kai tends to get dysregulated. Communication and social adaptability remain key challenges, although these have improved as he has grown,” he said.

Vishen said one of their biggest challenges was to find the right learning environment. He said they found a loving and secure environment for Kai at Colours of Bliss, a non-profit organisation, which has been transformative for him. Arianna attends a tutor centre on The Bluff, where they have small classes, and she is able to receive the special attention she needs.

Despite the advancements made, Vishen recognised that the lack of public awareness remains a strong impediment.

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“There is a lot of judgement out there for our kids on the spectrum as people don’t understand the autism mind and how it works, so taking the kids to public places, especially Kai, is a challenge,” he said.

But amid the challenges, the Maharaj family is bolstered by a strong support system, including grandparents and an uncle who create a safe space for the children, and an older sister Nirvana who plays an active role in Kai’s care and development.

Vishen said there seems to be a negative connotation surrounding being parents of autistic children, that it is hard work and tiresome and therefore makes it less enjoyable, but this is far from the truth.

“There is a lot of gratification and joy that comes with having children on the spectrum; they are very innocent and loving and do the most remarkable things. Every little success is celebrated. Kai has taught us how to listen with our heart and this creates a very special bond in the family that is so rewarding and sacred. It is an honour to be the parents to children on the spectrum, because they give us the purest form of love,” he said.

To celebrate Autism Awareness Month, Vishen invites everyone to welcome neurodiversity with greater compassion and understanding. “To other parents, hang in there. You are doing your best and there’s more awareness and support now than ever before,” he said.

“And to those who encounter children or adults on the spectrum, please be patient. The world is a much scarier place for them than it is for you. Don’t judge the parents either, we live with the constant fear of what will happen to our children when we are no longer around. Your kindness can make a world of difference.”

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