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Toddlers and preschool: How to deal with separation anxiety

If the first few weeks of preschool have been rocky for your toddler, here’s how you can help them cope better, for a happy year ahead.

With nursery schools back in full swing, preschoolers generally fall into two camps: those who cannot wait to go to school every morning and see their friends and learn new skills, and those who cry every morning and don’t want to leave home.

Crying, tantrums and clinginess are all common symptoms of preschoolers struggling with separation anxiety. While you may have spent the recent holidays crying out for a few moments of peace, your little one probably felt she was living her best life, having you around all the time. It’s understandable she may have feelings of separation anxiety now that she’s leaving you – even if she’s always loved preschool.

If your child is having a few wobbly moments, there are a few things you can do to help them.

Make a farewell ritual

Creating a special goodbye ritual before the first day of preschool can help to alleviate some of the tension associated with saying goodbye. Try one (or more) of the following suggestions:

  • Come up with a unique handshake or wave.
  • Before you drop your child off at school each day, tuck a transitional object (such as a wishing stone, a little photo, or a particular charm) into his or her backpack and fill it with love.
  • Lunchbox love notes remind kids that their parents love them and will be back soon.

Send out pleasant vibes

While it may be tempting to leave when your child is distracted, doing so later in the day can generate stress for your child. Recognise your child’s concerns and acknowledge his sentiments. It’s natural to be terrified and showing empathy can help your child feel safe and understood. As you say your goodbyes, keep an eye on your body language. Although you may be upset, you want your child to feel safe and secure in this new and exciting setting. Stand tall and smile to show your child how to say goodbye cheerfully!

Maintain a consistent schedule

Children do best when they get enough sleep, have a decent breakfast, and are not rushed.

  • To save time in the morning, pack lunches and snacks the night before.
  • Get up twenty minutes before your children to provide for extra time.
  • At night, have your shoes, socks, and bags ready by the entrance.

Keep your eye on the goal

Preschool years lay a strong foundation for children, and they have a lot of fun during their first year in school. You’ll see your youngster grow and learn in leaps and bounds once you get beyond that first obstacle of saying goodbye!    

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I'm an experienced writer, sub-editor, and media & public relations specialist with a demonstrated history of working in the media industry – across digital, print, TV, and radio. I earned a diploma in Journalism and Print Media from leading institution, Damelin College, with distinctions (Journalism And Print Media, Media Studies, Technical English And Communications, South African Studies, African & International Studies, Technology in Journalism, Journalism II & Practical Journalism). I also hold a qualification in Investigative Journalism from Print Media SA, First Aid Training from St John’s Ambulance, as well as certificates in Learning to Write Marketing Copy, Planning a Career in User Experience, and Writing a Compelling Blog Post.
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