How some of your favourite comedians would fix the world

Few people can mount a stage like it’s a pony and take the audience for a ride down a healthy dose of satire, funnies and a whole lot of subtext.

South Africa, in particular, can boast some of the funniest and most talented comedians in the world.

Like Billy Connolly and Andrew Dice Clay, Ricky Gervais and even Jerry Seinfeld, comedians are socio-political commentators who dress up serious perspectives in, well, a joke.

This month, some of the country’s finest voices will be taking to the stage at the Theatre of Marcellus at Emperor’s Palace on the East Rand.

Jokers in July is an annual festival with a lineup that promises to warm you up even better than a few litres of Glühwein or a hot water bottle. Tickets are available at Ticketpro.

But funny can be serious, and The Citizen checked in with a few of the funnymen who’ll be performing at Jokers in July.

It’s one simple question put to them: How would you change the world?

Here’s how they’d fix the world

Darren Maule

The South African edition, top-line stuff: universal basic income, free transportation, and quality food for the elderly and schoolgoers. These are no brainers, and what do you do on day 2 after this is done?

I have thought of that too, like having more public holidays.

Yeah, only because the more people don’t go to work on a public holiday, the less bad it feels to be unemployed.

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Also starting a new Political Party. Nothing gives more hope than the prospect of a new Party coming in to save the day.

When a new Party comes around people get excited and filled with hope. They are energized again and then a couple of months later they are disappointed because this party is the same as the previous party just a different color T-shirt.

But for a moment there – we were hopeful.

My third one, and I have a patent for this, is an electrified polygrapher that you strap onto every politician and the moment they lie: 220 V of electricity flow through their body.

There’s a double whammy because you replace them with someone under 25 years old. You fix corruption and youth unemployment simultaneously.

Laughter can fix anything

Eric Jansen

As a comedian, with as many jokes and as many shows as possible because where there is laughter, there is peace.

Now, as a superhero, well obviously, take out the bad guys and maintain the peace from there.

As the president of South Africa, I’d have to sit down with the smartest, wisest, most technical and clever people and devise a plan to help our country in a way that people see and extend our plan to them.

But as who I am right now, a person, just by trying to be a good person to someone who needs it, because doing a good deed for someone can cause a snowball effect of goodness to follow, my act of kindness could lead to more acts of kindness down the road, the more of us that are kind to each other, the better state the world could be in.

Riaad Mossa

The basic problem with the world is that everyone is caught up in the same game of deception, driven by selfishness.

The solution, at least in theory, is simple—people just need to tell the truth and be less selfish. Of course, that’s far easier said than done.

In the end, though, nothing really changes. All that’s left is to watch some stand-up comedy. It won’t solve anything, but it does make everything feel a little better.

Adults must have nap time

Ntosh Madlingozi

Mandatory nap time for adults.

It doesn’t look like these leaders out here are getting enough sleep with all the bad decisions they are making at the moment.

Politicians must wear superhero capes during serious debates, we need to laugh.

Also, a mandatory 60-second laugh break at work to get those endorphins to skyrocket

Hans Brummer

Well, in a world of fantasy, we could all escape at night to dreams where we practice being kinder and more patient with other people, and as we awake and learn, we try to apply that to our actual lives, but that’s kind of a long game.

More immediately, and I don’t want to sound anti-authoritarian, but a world leader Battle Royale/Hunger games-style reality show would be great entertainment, and it could sort out some stuff. Just saying.

Chris Forrest

Instead of war, world leaders should settle their conflicts with naked pillow fights.

It probably wouldn’t solve anything, but at the very least, it would be far more entertaining to watch.

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