The questions that follow focus more on the choice to not have sex rather than the motivation behind the decision. Though reasons why people choose to be celibate vary worldwide, author of Stepping into Your True Self Amanda Ndiki chose celibacy following numerous failed relationships.
After dedicating her life to promoting celibacy and abstinence to the youth, she chats to us about this life-changing decision.
1. I chose celibacy because I felt that I had lost myself. I was compromising my values and integrity in my relationships. I realised that I was also part of the reason they were failing and that I needed to find myself. At the time, I was a single mother who had just been through a divorce. I chose to focus my energy on finding my true purpose and fixing my relationship with myself.
2. My family was supportive of my decision. My mother was there for me because she knew that my decision would lead me to my spiritual calling. The support made it easy for me to stick to my decision and helped me to pursue my goals.
3. The first two years of this journey were the most challenging. The sexual urges took a toll on me. This pushed me to protect my personal space. My social life changed drastically as I started hanging around people who were in support of my decision. I also focused on building my events management company and promoting celibacy as a lifestyle.
4. Celibacy has brought me clarity and direction. I have been celibate for six years, and have control over my emotions. I have mastered the art of delayed gratification, and that has largely improved my decisions within a relationship. The centre of my relationships has changed from sex to the other person’s character.
5. My book and celibacy forum has been well-received by the public. Many people are looking for ways to deal with their pain, brokenness and hurt; sex isn’t working anymore. I always advise them to choose celibacy. This is because it forces you to look within for strength and the healing that will lead to healthy decision making.