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Shocked response of kidnapped bird

Hospice White River responds to news on Swoop's kidnapping

WHITE RIVER – Hospice has strongly responded to the news of the kidnapping of Penryn College’s mascot.

Swoop was attacked and kidnapped by eight suspects on Thursday morning. A source told Lowvelder that the investigation is still underway, but certain Uplands College students are apparently on their suspect list.

According to the principal of Penryn College, Mr Chris Erasmus, a ransom note was handed to the school demanding payment to Hospice White River. Yet, chairman of the board, Mr Gary Duke stated it was with great alarm that the governing board of hospice had heard of the dramatic, unprecedented kidnapping of the beloved mascot.

“Our prayers and thoughts are with Swoop’s family as well as the entire Penryn community at this time.” He said the board would do everything in its power to secure his release and it has tendered its full cooperation in this regard (as soon as the ransom has been paid).

According to Duke, an emergency meeting was held this weekend. “It was resolved that a commission of inquiry be set in motion to ascertain how this event could have taken place under the auspices of Hospice White River.”

He said the commission would be chaired by the headmaster of Uplands College and once the findings had been released, he assured them, heads would roll.

“The guilty parties will immediately be suspended on full pay and within 10 years, promoted. Unfortunately these things take time and we anticipate that the process will be completed in about 10 years.

“We have applied for funding from government to pay the enormous costs associated with such an auspicious venture,” said Duke.

He stated their immediate concern was the return of the eagle.

“As you are aware the ransom needs to be paid by Thursday morning to secure Swoop’s safety.”

He pleaded that they kindly arrange for each class to be provided with cans, to be filled by the students and made available for collection on Thursday morning.

“We would be most grateful for whatever ransom you are able to raise: note however that if at least R5 000 is not raised, we may need to sell feather dusters to keep our operation afloat. We thus appeal to all students (and parents) of Penryn College to give generously, either in the form of a once-off donation or even better, sign a debit order in favour of hospice : all debit orders, no matter how small, will be gratefully accepted! Debit order forms and the bank account details can be obtained from our website www.hospicewr.co.za”

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