How to spot a Lowvelder in Gauteng
When Lowvelders go to Gauteng they get hooted at, stuck in traffic and confronted with terms like "hashtag."
Lowvelders have recently had a good laugh – unapologetically so – at the expense of the people from Gauteng.
Read: How to spot a Gautenger in the Lowveld
However, it did not take them long to retaliate with a comeback or two. The list grew and before we knew it, we had compiled a brand new guide – The Gautenger’s guide to spotting a Lowvelder.
Mr Raymond Travers, a former Lowvelder who now lives in Gauteng, came forth with a few of these tell-tale signs.
- They drive too slowly.
- They stop dead under our e-toll gantries.
That guy in the crane?
Must be a Lowvelder. (Photo: Twitter)
- They don’t understand lanes.
That is an understatement. A few Lowvelders fear Gauteng’s traffic for more than one reason. Not only do the lanes toy with their motor skills. Those twists and turns make for some involuntary, spontaneous traveling. One wrong lane and they end up in Kempton Park, whereas all they wanted was Sandton. They say that it really is no fun.
- They (stupidly) stop at stop streets.
In short – when you see this:
Dont expect this:
Driving skills aside, Lowvelders also have particular physical characteristics. ‘Plattelanders’ from all over South Africa tend to stick to a few rules.
- Khaki is king.
- The two tone shirt is timeless.
(Photo: dirtroad.co.za)
- The Lowvelder is the guy with the regular haircut. “Short cut, net nie baie kort nie.” Like his dad. And his grandfather.
- Lowvelders always pack something warm wherever they travel. “Because it’s cold over there.” Look for the one with a sweater – if she’s not wearing it, it’s tied around her shoulder or in her handbag.
- A snake in your house? Seriously?
- They don’t respond to: “The twitter handle for this event is #…”
- Lowvelders don’t do traffic. When stuck in an unreasonable traffic jam (one that exceeds seven minutes), they might fall asleep.
