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By Lineo Lesemane

Digital Lifestyle Journalist


WATCH: ‘Skeem Saam’ star Pebetse Matlaila recalls her near-death experience and contemplating suicide

“I remember thinking if I can manage to kill these children painlessly, and then kill myself…”


Actress Pebetse Matlaila was a recent guest on the Gamechangers podcast, where she opened up about her book, near-death experience, thinking of killing herself and her two kids because of her abusive marriage, and more.

Speaking about her abusive ex-husband, she said no one believed her when she said he was abusive.

She added: “If he walked through this door, you wouldn’t believe he is the person I am talking about. He is so humble.”

Pebetse’s marriage lasted for only nine months. She said she saw the red flags but ignored them.

“We were married officially for nine months, but my relationship with him as boyfriend and girlfriend was about three months.

“Unfortunately for me, I knew the red flags before I even got married to him. He had an addiction problem,” she said.

She said she left the marriage when she was still pregnant with her last born daughter, which led her into depression as she depended on her mother because she was also not working at the time.

“My life was so much of a mess that I remember thinking If I can manage to kill these children painlessly and then kill myself, then they wouldn’t be dealing with this.

“I felt like I failed as a mom. I felt like I had messed up my life so badly that I had nothing else to live for, and I remember talking to my therapist and saying I was scared of myself and that I might hurt my kids because I had made such a mess of my life.”

ALSO READ: WATCH: Tol Ass Mo and Mome ‘reunite’ months after divorce announcement

Pebetse’s near-death experience

Pebetse said she “died” for three minutes when she went to deliver her last born. She said she had preeclampsia (a high blood pressure disorder that happens during pregnancy, in most cases.)

“I remember not being able to breathe and I pulled the scrubs of the nurse that was next to me and… and it was lights out for me. I didn’t even know that I was dead, only for my mom to come narrate a story to me about what happened…”

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