Vincent Ntokozo Silinda (39), who was admitted to Rob Ferreira Hospital after his girlfriend allegedly stabbed him, has found himself behind bars, despite having obtained a protection order against the woman.

The drama started on December 26 when the woman allegedly accused Silinda of cheating. “I came back late from a drinking spree. I was sleeping, but my girlfriend woke me up, accused me of cheating on her and threatened to kill me,” he said in a graphic video showing his injuries, including a cut across his face.

In the video, Silinda warns other men to stay away from abusive women. “Gentlemen, we are in big trouble in the hands of abusive women. Look at my cheek now. If I retaliated, the police would arrest me.”

On December 27, Silinda went to the Nelspruit Police Station intending to ask the SAPS to instruct his girlfriend not to assault him again. The police reportedly advised him to apply for a protection order.

According to Silinda, the officers entered his complaint in a register called an “occurrence book” or OB. He went home to Karino where his girlfriend allegedly attacked him again when he tried to collect his belongings. Allegedly the woman damaged some of the things Silinda tried to take and threatened to stab him again.

Silinda ran to the nearby home of Nelly Kgoedi, the founder and programme development manager of Phakama Ndoda, a non governmental organisation that fights for abused men’s rights. Loosely translated, Phakama Ndoda means “stand up for your rights man”.

Kgoedi told Lowvelder it was not the first time that Silinda had asked for her intervention.

“I asked my husband to accompany me to the house where the victim stayed with his girlfriend. When we arrived, she hurled insults at me, calling me names for standing up for men while I am a woman,” said Kgoedi. “I personally asked the woman why she was abusing Silinda, but she continued insulting me.”

Kgoedi said they tried to call the Nelspruit police without success. However, Silinda’s girlfriend called the KaNyamazane police who arrived shortly thereafter. The cops listened to the story and said it fell under the Nelspruit SAPS’s jurisdiction.

According to Kgoedi, the girlfriend tried to beat her up while the police were still on scene.

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“I warned her to stay away from me, but she came closer trying to attack me. I grabbed her by the hands and pushed her away,” said Kgoedi.

“The SAPS officers stepped in and instructed me to get into their vehicle to save the situation.”

Shortly after, the KaNyamazane police let Kgoedi go and left. Once officers from the Nelspruit SAPS arrived, they advised Silinda to take his clothes and leave.

“They warned him that if he stayed, the woman might turn around and lay abuse charges against him, so he complied,” Kgoedi said. “They told him to get the protection order against her before going to collect the rest of his belongings.”

Silinda managed to obtain the protection order and relocated to Matsulu. According to him, he received a call from a man who identified himself as a cop on December 29. The officer allegedly said he wanted to see Silinda, who said he would meet with him at the Nelspruit Police Station. The cop, however, said he would come to Silinda’s home instead.

“A single policeman arrived at Silinda’s house and arrested him. He told Silinda his girlfriend opened a case of gender-based violence [GBV] against him,” said Kgoedi.

Silinda briefly appeared in the Nelspruit Magistrate’s Court on Monday, December 30, and was remanded in custody pending his next court appearance on Tuesday, January 7, for bail application.

“The victim has become the perpetrator. This is unfair. I also want to know why the policeman went alone to arrest Silinda and why was he arrested while having a protection order against the complainant?” Kgoedi asked.

She added that the South African laws favoured women over men when it came to GBV cases.

“Phakama Ndoda is there to advocate for no GBV against men and we groom young men to know their rights. Men don’t speak, they react, so to eradicate GBV as a whole, there must be equity when it comes to it,” said Kgoedi.