The Good Samaritan

Ever since some wily hitch-hiker removed the wallet from my jacket that was lying on the back seat of the car, I vowed that I`d never give a solitary soul standing on the wayside a lift……ever!

I suppose that’s reasonable enough, when one remembers the hazards that dog the average motorist these days.

Driving back from Pretoria in the pouring rain two weekends ago, I settled back in my seat, opened a packet of Olde English Humbugs, and whistled a tune.

I`d just cleared Waterval Boven, a point where the weather usually takes a turn for the worse, when I spied a lone figure standing at the road side. Naturally, I sped past at a rate of knots, then realising that it was a member of the cloth standing there., I stopped, and reversed back to where he was currently getting soaked to the skin.

“Morning Reverend,” I began, “Looks like the Heaven`s have opened for you!”

He looked towards the scudding clouds above, and the teeming rain below.

“Bless you for stopping,” he said, as he clambered into my car.

I was about to ask him what he was doing there on a lonely stretch of road when he gave me the answer.

“My car has been stolen!”

‘Oh Lord,” I said, feeling sorry for the chap. “High-jacked?”

“Heaven`s no, it was stolen right here as I was answering the call of nature!”

“Here?”

“This very spot…..poor Matilda,” he sighed.

I remembered that years ago I had called an old Austin Cambridge of mine “Matilda.” A term of endearment I suppose you`d call it.

“Did you catch sight of the thieves?” I asked.

“Ah no, my calling took rather longer than I anticipated.”

“How old is the old girl?”

He gave me a side-wards glance, “Er….I`ve had her since eighty-two.”

“Getting on then, you`ll probably find Matilda in some chop shop, being sold off for spare parts,” I joked.

His face suddenly went very red. “Chop shop?” .

“You know, they`ll strip her down and sell off her parts….was her body in good nick?”

By this time, the good Reverend was fair bursting at the seams.

“Body?” he exploded.

“You know….if she had decent bodywork, they`d probably sell her as she stands, she`ll get a good price in one of the Townships!”

His right hand grabbed my arm just as I was setting the gear lever into first.

“You misunderstood me, Matilda is my wife, not my motor-car.”

I apologized of course, “You don`t think they let her off somewhere along the road?” I suggested.

“I didn`t even hear the car start up.”

“You didn`t?”

“No, that`s what is so mysterious, I didn`t hear a thing…not even a door slam.”

By this time, I`d turned off the ignition. “Well, the car plus your wife couldn`t just vanish into thin air,” I quipped.

“There`s my three children too!”

“Three…….?”

“Yes they were all in the car when I went into the wilderness.”

“Oh Lord!”

“That`s not all.”

“How do you mean?’

“Well, I still have the ignition key, you see I locked them all in.”

The old boy must be quite bonkers to do a thing like that, without saying a word, I scrambled out of my car and walked back along the grass verge, he followed.

I figured that he might have misjudged the place where he had left his car, as it was pouring with rain. Then I saw what had happened.
“Bet you didn`t apply the handbrake Your Reverence?”

Yep, there was Matilda and the three kids all waving at me from a car that was surrounded by a sea of thick mud. The car had apparently rolled backwards several meters and gone into a donga!”

Of course the old boy was delighted, and luckily the rain had stopped.

I reversed the car out of the ditch for him, and we stood and chatted for some time.

“I didn`t catch your name Father?”

He looked towards a heap of gravel some way back from the road, and without looking at me said quietly, “Riddle…. the Reverend J.”

I got back to my car feeling like the Good Samaritan, and at the same time kicking myself for not asking whether his name was Jimmy.