A salute to all the mothers out there

Nothing is as effective as Mother’s Day when it comes to hailing mothers – possibly the most special section of our community.

I think the lovely Snapdragon is angry at me, but I can’t tell for sure – she doesn’t speak to me.

Which would be heaven on earth if it wasn’t for one minor detail. It is Mother’s Day on Sunday and I would like to discuss the details of the special day with her. Sometimes it’s sheer hell to be married to her, but she is an exceptionally good mother and she deserves to be spoilt and pampered on this day.

You can’t say that about a lot of people nowadays. I mean, the part about being a good parent. (Very few people are as grumpy, too).

I swear, if I ever manage to extract enough energy from energy drinks to make a vegetable garden, I’m going to use her as a scarecrow. But that’s not what this column is about.

Anyway, if she doesn’t shake off her mood, she’s going to mope herself out of Mother’s Day. But that’s not a problem, because there are scores of other commemorative days to look forward to.

A man has to keep his cool

Today is Military Spouse Day. It’s World Turtle Day on May 23. And Geek Pride Day on May 25. I kid you not.

I wouldn’t normally mention it, but there’s no logic to keeping an awareness day secret: On May 28 it’s World Menstrual Hygiene Day.

Good news for cops: It’s Doughnut Day on the first Friday of June. And Chartered Accountants’ Day on July 1. My buddies will be delighted to learn that August 1 is International Beer Day. And August 20 is World Mosquito Day, September 3 is Skyscraper Day and September 19 is International Talk like a Pirate Day.

October 23 is Mole Day and November 19 is International Men’s Day – except in the home Snapdragon so graciously shares with me.

On second thoughts, I think I should rather hold thumbs that she regains her sanity before Sunday.

There is a day to commemorate something or create awareness of something else on almost every day of the year. But none of these are quite as effective as Mother’s Day when it comes to hailing mothers – possibly the most special section of our community.

To Snapdragon, to the mother of my first child and to mothers all over our beautiful country: happy Mother’s Day. I salute all of you.