While Neha battles neighbours online and Rajiv drives like a movie star, their unexpected kindness is winning hearts.
You always assume your street is normal. Peaceful. Predictable. Maybe even a little boring.
Mrs Pretorius waters her plants in her gown every morning, Mr Williams still washes his car shirtless in winter and the neighbourhood WhatsApp group is mostly about lost dogs, suspicious pigeons and people asking “Was that a gunshot or fireworks?”
And then… they moved in. House number 8 had been empty for a few months. We thought it would be a nice family, maybe a quiet couple with a cat, or even better – someone who actually knew how to park properly.
Instead, we got… let me call them the Chopras. The wife is Neha Chopra, queen of confrontation.
She joined the neighbourhood WhatsApp group at 8.12am and by 8.17am, she was already fighting with two people and invited the clowns, as she called them, to her address to “sort them out”.
I tried to calm her down with a smiley face. She replied with a two-minute voice note, half of which was her sighing angrily and muttering, “These people are not serious.”
Her husband is Rajiv, aka “Fast & Furious” Chopra. You know in every suburb there’s one guy who drives like he’s trying to qualify for the Grand Prix? That’s Rajiv.
But instead of a sports car, he has a flashy BMW sporting low profile tyres and tinted windows.
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He doesn’t drive down the street, he arrives in it. Dramatically. Like James Bond, but on caffeine and Google Maps.
He reverses into his driveway at 70km/h and once overtook the traffic cop in a speed bump zone while waving cheerfully.
He waves at everyone, actually. The same people his wife is trying to take to court.
At this point, the street is divided. Half of us are terrified. The other half… mildly entertained.
Mrs Pretorius now waters her plants with binoculars. The teenagers down the road make bets on how many WhatsApp messages Neha will send before breakfast.
But here’s the thing: last week, Rajiv stopped for an old lady’s cat in the road. Waited patiently.
Neha shared samosas with everyone at the street clean-up. And when Mr Williams had a flat tyre, guess who helped him? The Fast & the Furious himself.
So maybe, just maybe… we should never judge a neighbour by their WhatsApp messages, or tinted windows.
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