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By Danie Toerien

Journalist


That’s why it’s called superglue

Exactly how things transpired, I’m not sure. I only became aware of the incident when she called. Hysterically.


A while back, my 2IC decided to fix a small fridge magnet. It’s a beautiful little tile with a magnet attached to the back which she brought back from Amsterdam.

But, as so often happens with fridge magnets, they fall.

And, like most fridge magnets, the sentimental value far exceeds the monetary value.

I admit that I did promise to fix the magnet. In fact, in the past six months I’ve promised three times. But she has no patience and waits until I’m not home before she does it herself.

Note: I was not home when the fateful decision was taken.

Exactly how things transpired, I’m not sure. I only became aware of the incident when she called. Hysterically.

Apparently, after not reading the instructions on the bottle, she did manage to open it and glue the two pieces together. Seamlessly as well – with an invisible joint. Not an easy task, I may add.

But …

Oh yes, unfortunately there is a but to the story.

The little tile was now also permanently – it seemed – attached to her palm, which was also attached to two of her fingertips on the other hand.

Apparently, there’s a reason they call it superglue.

While you are reading this version of events from my perspective, spare a thought for me, who was on the receiving end of the hysterical version from a different perspective.

Being the gentleman that I am, I managed to calm her down, asked her to repeat the story, and only then did I burst out laughing.

Somehow – between Google and a very large circle of friends – the palm, the fingertips and the pieces of tile were restored to their separate state.

To prove my deep regret about the delay in fixing the tile, I immediately did so the moment I got home.

I was reminded of this event when a friend broke a crown on a toffee over the weekend.

To my utter surprise, and before I could offer a condolence or a cautionary word, the 2IC volunteered to save our friend a fortune by fixing the broken crown with …

If they end up in hospital with teeth, lips, fingers and possibly a tongue all glued together, I’ll shamelessly be making a video.

Danie Toerien.

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